I pull my notebook out of my purse.
Mom,
Could you stop my tears, or did I drive you away with them? Maybe you didn’t know how to hold me when I cried. Maybe I drove you crazy when I was scared, or sad, or lonely.
I wish you’d been around for me, to hold me till I fell asleep at night, to pick me up when I fell down. I’ve fallen down a lot in the past twenty-plus years, and I never knew where to find you. All I knew was that you weren’t by my side once. And I missed you every second.
But I’m going to make things right for you. I’m halfway to making sure you never feel as homeless as I have.
We’ll be okay. Both of us.
Jasalie
When I hear Dylan call my name, it’s too late to make a run for it. I turn my head away from the direction his voice came from, but he’s too close already. So I stuff my notebook back into my purse just as he reaches me.
“Jasalie.”
Hard as I try to keep my face in shadow, the sun shines brightly on my tears.
“Shit.” He takes a seat on the wall next to me. “What’s the matter?”
I’m too ashamed to tell him the truth, that I have no family and I just called up a fake one to try to make myself feel less lonely. I wipe my eyes and sigh. “Oh, crap,” I say. “This is embarrassing.”
“Why?” he says.
He’s got on Cougars sweatpants, a team sweatshirt, and a Dodgers baseball cap. He looks so cozy and relaxed that I’m envious. I’m incredibly strung-out and that coffee didn’t help matters.
I bang my heels against the stone wall. “Because I barely know you, and this is not the way you want someone you just met to see you.” In truth, I never want anyone to see me like this. I feel fragile like I could break if someone pushed a little too hard.
“Did something happen?” Dylan puts his arm around me.
“I just…” I struggle to come up with a response. “I spoke to someone back in L.A., and it made me sad.”
“I’m sorry.” He pulls me into his chest for a hug.
I linger against the softness of his sweatshirt and wrap my arm around his waist. He smells so darn good. Smelling good is very important. It means a lot.
“The rest of the money will be in your account by tonight,” he murmurs into my ear.
I freeze. That means our time together is nearly over. The very concept shatters me. But the money in my account…it means I can go see my mother and hand her the check in person.
“That’s…good news,” I get out. “Thank you so much.”
He kisses my head. “Thank you for taking a chance on a guy you didn’t know at all and for trusting me.”
Emotions clog my throat.
“I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me, Jasalie—spending time together like this.” His voice is harsh, almost like he’s feeling things he didn’t expect to feel.
Maybe Dylan and I are less different than I thought.
“For me, too,” I say softly.
He clears his throat. “You look exhausted,” he says. “Go take a nap and I’ll call you after my workout. I won’t let you sleep all morning, I promise.”
I tell him that I’m fine, but as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m asleep.
* * *
