“I don’t understand,” I say. “I can take care of myself, Dylan. I’ve been doing that my entire life. More than most.”
“Who I am in the public eye, hounded by fans—some of them clearly crazy as shit—could get you killed, Jasalie.” He grips my shoulders with both hands. “I can’t take that risk. I love you too fucking much to ever take that risk. I don’t want to do this—it absolutely wrecks me to imagine waking up without you by my side…” His voice cracks, but he clears his throat and continues on stoically, “Maybe after this fan’s caught, Tim can help me rework protocol so I can take care of you better. But until then…”
My heart sinks into the ground, taking my renewed trust in humanity along with it. I feel like my legs will buckle under me, but I manage to hold myself up.
“You’re ending this.” I say it with certainty because the flatness in his eyes makes everything crystal clear. “You’re quitting. On us.”
Just when I’d given everything.
“I have no choice,” he says. The pain is in his voice, but he tries to mask it with his businesslike approach to our break-up. “I was selfish to want you for longer than Tucson. I was selfish to ask you to be my date for the weekend. I thought I could be like everyone else, but the truth is that my life comes with danger attached to it. I chose to take that risk when I entered professional football, but you didn’t. And you deserve better. You deserve everything good.”
I shake my head at him in disgust. “I can’t believe you’re actually convincing yourself you’re doing this for me.”
“I’m doing it to make sure you don’t get hurt,” he says.
“You’re doing it to make sureyoudon’t get hurt! I’m not Annabella, Dylan. I won’t blame you for bad press, or rude comments, or for an unflattering photo. And I’m certainly not going to run from one death threat.” I grab my bag and walk out of his bedroom, but he follows me.
“Jasalie…”
Dylan follows me as I head downstairs and into his kitchen where I stop by the dining table.
For a few moments, neither of us says anything.
I stand awkwardly and ponder what the hell I should do. My life seems to be exploding from the inside out.
“Jasalie, look.” Dylan’s eyes are pleading. “I admire and respect how strong you are. But I would rather know that you’re safe and lose you for myself than subject you to things I can’t control.”
“You think I don’t recognize self-protection?” I say. “It’s like looking in the mirror, Dylan! I know exactly what you’re doing!”
“I’m protecting you, Jasalie.”
“Bullshit.” Our eyes lock. “You’re protectingyou. You may really and truly believe you’re doing this for me, but I know you’re lying to yourself. You know how I know?”
He doesn’t hazard a guess, so I answer my own question. “You have the most honest, open eyes I’ve ever seen,” I say softly. “And right now, they’re cloudy and you keep trying to avert your gaze.”
A frustrated growl leaves his throat as he comes closer and kisses me hard on the mouth.
I breathe him in, knowing it will be the last time. If he’s going to walk away from me, just like everyone else has, I can’t beg him to stay. I know better than anyone what happens if you try to cage a butterfly.
Dylan and I are exactly the same in this way. The difference is, I’m not running scared.
I pull back just enough so I can look directly into his eyes. “You say you’re doing this to protect me, but what you’re really saying is that I’m not worth the risk.”
He flinches, and for a second, I think he’s going to crack and let down his walls. But he takes a shuddering breath and doesn’t say anything.
And I shatter inside.
“Goodbye, Dylan,” I whisper into his lips.
He leans his forehead to mine, and his reply comes out hoarse. “Goodbye, Jasalie.”
He walks me out to the town car that’s waiting in the driveway, puts me and my bags inside, and he’s gone.
I catch the anguished look on his face in the rearview mirror as he turns away, and I suppress a sob.
Dylan Wild loves me. I know that as surely as I know my own name.
But he left me anyway.
