I feel like an imposter as I drive through L.A. in Dylan’s Mercedes. I turn on the radio and focus on the road. I feel like all of Los Angeles must be staring at me. At the poor girl in the rich Mercedes.
I go to the store by my work, and I head straight for the cosmetics counter.
I find Ruby XO right away. But I stand there for an interminably long time staring at the bottle behind the locked glass. Maybe I should try a new scent, something that’s all me. Maybe it’s time to move on.
“Can I help you, dear?”
I look up into the eyes of a saleswoman. Her white hair pulled back into a bun frames a kind face. She smiles at me. “Do you know what you came here for?”
I shake my head and walk away.
I get about thirty feet away when I turn back.
“Yes,” I say to her. “I do know.”
When she hands me the bag and my receipt, I thank her and leave. As soon as I get outside the building, I reach into the bag and unwrap the bottle of Ruby XO and spray the scent on my wrists and neck.
A whiff of the smell hits my nose, and I choke. I cough my way to the car, feeling like I’ve been poisoned.
I grew up without a mother, so I don’t know why I keep feeling the need to pretend otherwise. I turn the key in the ignition and pull out of the parking lot.
* * *
By the time I pull up to Dylan’s driveway, I’m doing better than I was, but I’m still not quite myself.
He buzzes me onto his property, and I park the car. Then I school my expression before I walk into the house. I can hear the TV as I turn the corner into the living room.
“Hi.” I give a friendly wave and forced smile.
“Hey, babe.”
Dylan’s hanging out on the couch. I nearly melt when I see Bessie on his lap and Balaster curled up by his side, but I swallow the emotion down.
“You ready for our drive?” I take a seat next to him.
He turns off the TV and puts his arms around me. “You’re wearing that perfume again,” he says into my neck.
“I just bought a refill.”
I clench my jaw and pull out of his arms with the excuse of saying hello to the kitties.
When I finally raise my eyes to his again, he takes my chin in his hand.
“Jasalie, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I try to keep my voice light, but Dylan frowns.
“We’re not the best liars, are we?”
I break into a laugh.
“What’s going on?” he says again.
“I woke up thinking about my mother,” I tell him honestly. “About how to give her the money.”
“Do you want to run through your options?” he asks me. “I can help you figure out a plan.”
I kiss his cheek. “Later, yes. Right now? I’d rather just have some fun.”
