He hesitates and looks at my face before grinning. “You told me one of your sexual fantasies as well.”
If I’d been given a million guesses, I wouldn’t have expected that to come out of his mouth.
“Really?”
“Really. You want to know what it was?”
I look back at him, my defenses completely down. “I already know what it is.”
His lips part. “I need to hear you say it, Olive.”
I flush with heat. “Well, while I don’t remember saying it the other night…my fantasy has always been for us to have sex…in the shower. Me in your arms, my back against the tile wall.”
“And?” His green eyes are smoldering.
“And you drive into me slowly until…”
“Until…”
“We both come so hard we’re screaming each other’s names.” My face is so hot it must be flaming red.
Jenson kisses my cheek. “Do you remember our first kiss?”
“Did you honestly think I would forget?”
I was fifteen and Jenson was seventeen and a half. We were at a party Cindy was holding for Dee’s birthday, and we were the only two who stayed outside when the rains started. No thunder or lightning, so the adults couldn’t force us inside, and Jenson led me over to the side of the house with no windows. Best of all, there were no reporters—the paper was on strike that week.
“No one could see us when I gave you a hug,” he says. “You were wearing a pink tank top that fell off your left shoulder, and jean shorts. Your gorgeous jet-black hair was in a high ponytail.”
I sit up and stare at him. “You remember what I was wearing?”
“Every detail from that day is permanently inked into my memory.” The green of his eyes darkens with heat. “You were so beautiful and so innocent. You kissed me first. Remember?”
“Yes.” I had never felt emotions as big as what I felt that day with Jenson. I didn’t know where to put my feelings, so I did the only thing that felt right. I put my mouth over his.
By the end of a half hour, I was lying on top of him with my tongue in his mouth, and he had his hands underneath my top. The next day, I woke up and was sure I was going to hell. Not for going to second base. Mom and Dad had never made a big deal about sex. I just knew that Jenson and I weren’t supposed to like each other that way.
But later that afternoon, Jenson showed up in my driveway on his bike. We rode down to the apple orchard, and we talked. He told me that we weren’t doing anything wrong, and we couldn’t help what was in our hearts. He said he couldn’t imagine being with anyone other than me, but he thought we should wait until I was older to do anything like that again.
So we did.
“We didn’t kiss again until my sixteenth birthday,” I say now. “You were leaving for school, but you surprised me with the best present—a dinner date and then a walk by the river.”
“I gave you my heart that night,” he says. “I’d given it to you already, but that night I did it consciously. I knew I would never care for anyone the way I cared for you, Olive. That certainty has never changed. Even when I thought our time was over forever, I never let go of you.”
* * *
When we finish dessert, Jenson washes the few dishes and I dry, and then we make our way to my bedroom.
As soon as I get within sight of my bed, panic sets in.
My palms start sweating, and my pulse is racing. It’s from this place of anxiety that I rush to my dresser, grab some clothing, and excuse myself for the bathroom.
I change into a pair of red lace underwear and bra and then put on a simple black t-shirt and pajama bottoms.
When I return to the room, Jenson’s lying on his side on my bed. I take a seat next to him and he sits up and puts his arms around me.
“J?”
