Chapter Twelve
When Jenson and I reach Auntie Sue, she’s unconscious. My heart breaks for her, but for the first time in years, she looks at peace. It almost feels like a perverse sort of permission to take the leap into the unknown, to let go of the family ties that bind. Jenson locks eyes with me, and I nod at him even though he never asked me anything out loud.
* * *
Three hours later, we all stand around Auntie Sue’s hospital bed and watch her sleep. As much as it seemed like God was trying to give her a leg up into the beyond, Auntie Sue is alive and sleeping like a baby with, miraculously, no broken bones and no head trauma. I’m more relieved than I want to admit, and I vow to spend more time visiting her this summer.
However, now isn’t the time. Because while I love her, watching anyone sleep like this is its own little form of torture.
Unless we were excused, we’re all here, and the hospital room is hot and crowded. Kyle and Connor are too little to be expected to be here. And Cindy offered—more like absolutelyinsisted—to be the one to take Kyle and Connor home with her. Jenson tried to say he’d do it, but Cindy used the grandmother card, and now he’s stuck here with the rest of us at the hospital.
My cousin Stacey whispers from my side. “Even if she had died, if she came back to life right now, she’d still be the same.”
I shush her, but she won’t stop.
“You know what I mean, Olive? People mourn the dead, but it’s almost like they forget what they knew. Auntie Sue is awesome, but she was also bossy before she became incapable—remember that? She used to boss all of us around, and her sisters and kids, too. We loved her sassiness, but we used to get so mad at her too.” Stacey shakes her head. “People don’t want to admit the truth. I mean what’s so freaking wrong with the damn truth?”
My gaze automatically shifts to Jenson standing across the bed from me as my mother keeps her arm around Cybil sitting at the foot of the bed. Cybil leans her head on Mom’s shoulder.
“Such a beautiful paint job,” Mom comments as she stares awkwardly at the wall behind Auntie Sue’s head.
“Isn’t it?” Cybil agrees. “Very tasteful.”
Awkward silence follows until Cybil finally says what we’re all thinking.
“My sister just won’t let go,” she says.
“It’s like an iron grip,” Matilda murmurs in a quiet voice.
“She’d feel so much better if she’d just give in and let God take her,” Mom agrees. “Give in, Auntie Sue.” My mother practically moans the words. “Let go.”
Let go. Give in. Take me.
Oh, my God. I’m taking a conversation about death and turning it into sex in my head. I really have lost it. But I don’t want to miss out on living when I’m so blessed to be young, healthy, and alive. Auntie Sue wouldn’t want me to suffer like this. She wouldn’t want me to hold back on love.
My eyes find Jenson’s.
I want him so much that it aches. I tell Mom I have a message from work that can’t wait, and I kiss Auntie Sue goodbye.
I’m walking through the parking lot when I hear him call to me.
I spin around with a smile. “You got out?”
“Of course.” He steps closer until he’s near enough to touch. “I’ve got some time before my coaches meeting.”
Thank God. The ache between my legs is so intense I can barely stand it.
“Are you ready?” he asks me as he nods at his truck a few feet away.
Yes.
As soon as we get into the truck, I look at him. “Remember how I said I want everything with you?”
His eyes lock with mine. “Yeah?”
“I want it now,” I say. “If you do. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t care about going slow and taking our time. What just happened with Auntie Sue—it made me realize even more how precious life is. It goes by so fast, you know? I don’t want to waste any more time. She was always so good to me, and I feel like even now—she wants me to be happy.”
Jenson grips the steering wheel tightly. “Olive. I don’t want to wait either.”
