She lights up and blows smoke over the railing before speaking. “I hate to smoke. But I miss having something to do with my mouth. I miss having someone to kiss, to talk to, to fight with even. I miss being in a relationship.”
My eyes fill with tears. At a loss for what to say, I look across the rooftop and see Jenson at the other end. He’s at the bar, ordering a beer. He turns in that moment and spots me. He smiles that smile I adore and holds up his beer to me. I wave and turn back to Daphne as I feel the words come.
“It’s too much pressure,” I say to her. “Your whole life is too much pressure, Daph.”
Her eyes water, and she takes the tissue I offer her.
“You’ve always felt like you had to be perfect, you know?” I say. “The happiest girl in high school, the top cheerleader with the best boyfriend, but also the girl who had the most fun and who loved to be a rebel. You can’t be happy when you’re trying too hard to be happy. It just doesn’t work.”
She dabs at her eyes, and dark mascara comes off onto the white tissue. I hand her another tissue. “You and Todd are both stressed out,” I say. “He was slamming shots at Sheldon’s bachelor party like he was still eighteen.”
“You were there?”
I don’t want her to get jealous that Sheldon didn’t invite her. “Accidentally. And for about five minutes. Just long enough to drag Sheldon out of there.”
“Can you drag me out of here?” Daphne says with a half-smile.
“Do you want to be dragged out?” I ask her seriously. “Because yes, I will help you leave discreetly if that’s what you need.”
She takes another puff of her cigarette and stares out over the deck. “I don’t know. I’m just upset tonight. It reminded me of my wedding. Todd and I met too young. We never learned how to be adults together. We just had kids and thought that would be enough to teach us how to grow up. And the thing is, they’re two separate subjects—there’s being husband and wife, and there’s being parents.”
As she’s talking, Todd rounds the corner.
“Everything okay?” He looks first at my face and then at Daphne’s.
I nod encouragingly at Daphne, who hesitates before saying, “No, not really.”
Todd’s eyes flash with concern, and he puts his hand on Daphne’s arm. I excuse myself just as Todd says, “Can we talk about it, Daph?”
I walk over to the bar and order a beer. While I’m standing there, Sheldon comes up to me.
“Awesome. Two full beers!” He holds up his bottle.
I follow suit, and as I do, the scarf I was using to hide my neck slides off me and down to the ground.
And that’s when Sheldon notices my hickey.
“Who’s the guy?”
I flush so hot that even Sheldon can’t miss it. His eyes bug out of his head, and he leans in close to my ear. “Why didn’t you bring him tonight?”
Tears sting my eyes, and I surprise both of us when I reach out and put my arms around him.
“Hey.” He holds me close. “Are you okay?”
I can’t answer him because I truly don’t know. I’ve risked more in the last month than I ever have in my life, and I’m not sure how my heart is holding up. Keeping Jenson a secret from my family has never proved harder than right now. I excuse myself from Sheldon and tell him we’ll talk later.
On my way to find Jenson, I get waylaid by Mom and Veronica, Todd’s mother.
“Olivia, don’t you look lovely tonight,” Veronica says as she gives me a hug.
“Thank you, so do you,” I say. “If you’ll excuse me…”
“And where’s your date for the evening?” Veronica glances around the room.
Mom gasps. “That’s right! I never asked if you brought someone.” She looks at me expectantly. “Is it someone we know?”
“Well,” I pause. “I…I brought Jenson. He and I are both currently unattached. It just made sense. He’s my friend-date.”
