Sheldon grins. Then he says, “But where were you sleeping?”
“In my bed,” I say quickly. “He was sick. I was on the couch.”
I point to the bed I just made on the couch, hoping Sheldon won’t remember it wasn’t there five minutes ago.
He doesn’t, and the secret continues.
“See, you’re the cousin, so you get special treatment,” Sheldon teases Jenson. “I’m just the brother, and I always get the couch.”
“Ha, ha,” I say. “I’ll make up the smaller couch for you, Sheldon. Go use the bathroom.”
I drag Jenson into the bedroom. While he throws on his jeans and t-shirt, I whisper into his ear, “Didn’t you get my note and text?”
“I got your note,” he whispers back as he kisses my neck. “But no text.”
We walk quietly out to the porch to check on Bernie, who’s sleeping through this whole charade. I close the door behind us so Jenson and I can talk privately.
“I woke up, got your note, and decided to wait up for you in the living room,” Jenson explains in a low voice. “That’s why the TV was on, and I was using the main bathroom.”
“Didn’t you hear Sheldon when we walked inside?”
“No,” he says. “I must have been in the bedroom at that point. I went in there to grab my shirt. Which I obviously didn’t quite get on,” he adds as I throw up my hands.
Sheldon opens the door and nearly dances out to us. “This is so cool! I get to spend the wee hours before my wedding with my favorite sister and cousin. And you’re ‘friend-dating’ to my wedding! You guys make the perfect pair.”
I know my face must be bright red, so I turn for the door, saying I’ll be out with coffee.
* * *
The three of us go to sleep eventually with my brother and me on the living room couches and Jenson in my bed. I don’t want to even try dissecting that little fucked-up triangle, and I fall into a fitful sleep.
The next morning, Jenson leaves early to go see Kyle and Connor. I wake up Sheldon a couple hours later and send him home to shower and eat so he’ll be ready for tonight.
I get dressed in a cream strapless slinky dress that I pair with a matching silk scarf. I hadn’t planned to wear the scarf, but Jenson and I got a little carried away last night, and he gave me quite a love bite on my neck. Since my family thinks I’m as single as I’ve ever been, I don’t think advertising a hickey at Sheldon’s wedding is the way to tell them about my love life. So, scarf it is. I pin my hair up into a twisted bun and wear pearl-drop earrings to match my dress color.
And then before I know it, Jenson and I are at my brother’s wedding. I watch Sheldon and Cara exchange rings at the altar, and I put my arm around Mom when she cries. Daphne cries too, on my other side, and whispers to me, “Our only brother’s all grown up now.”
I smile at her and nod, but I don’t get it. It’s just a legal exchange, for goodness sake. Sheldon’s been “grown up” for a while now.
Jenson and I follow the group of guests down Main Street to the reception. We take the elevator to the rooftop of The Lounge and clap when Sheldon and Cara are introduced as husband and wife for their first dance.
I spend some time chatting to Auntie Sue, who looks paler than usual. When I ask Matilda about it, she says the doctors cleared her mother to come tonight and that she wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
Auntie Sue turns to look at me, and for a moment, I swear she sees into my heart. She knows who I want to marry and what my wedding would look like if I could have one right now. And she nearly smiles.
I give her a big hug before Dad beckons me onto the dance floor.
I dance with Dad and then Sheldon, and finally Jenson pulls me over for a dance.
“You look fucking gorgeous,” he says into my hair.
“Thank you.” I tilt my head at his black tie. “So do you.”
We talk and laugh while we’re on the dance floor, but I feel a million miles away from him. I feel the hundreds of pairs of eyes around me even though nobody’s paying a bit of attention to us. Jenson squeezes my hand to get me to look at him, and I force a smile. But he keeps grinning at me until I laugh, and the tension breaks.
And keeping the secret ends up being fun, in a way. It feels illicit and daring to make out behind the tree in the pavilion and then walk back into the hall like nothing’s happened.
Sheldon and Cara are hanging out at an empty table, and he calls us over.
