It didn’t feel all that great, honestly, not in these circumstances.
They were worried about me and I appreciated that, but instead of working through my thoughts or sorting out my emotions, I spent all of my time reassuring them I was fine. Every one of them recognized it for the lie that it was, but if I didn’t understand what was happening in my head, how was I supposed to explain it to them?
Then again, maybe I didn’t need to. When Libby took out the stitches a few days later, she took one look at my face and I knew she saw far deeper than I wanted anyone to dig at that moment.
“Busy place today,” I said lightly, hoping I could direct the conversation away from myself long enough to get through this appointment.
“Practically every day, lately. I’m hoping to bring on another doctor in the next few months. It’s getting to be too much to handle on my own.”
“Good for business, but maybe not for stress levels.”
“Speaking of stress levels, how’ve you been feeling?” she asked, head bent over my hand as she snipped the loose threads.
Shit.I walked right into that one.
I kept my gaze averted, both from what she was doing and from her keen eyes. “Fine.”
A disbelieving snort snapped my attention back to her face. “Eden, I’ve been a member of the Davies family for a long time, and an unofficial member even longer. I know what stubborn looks like from every possible angle.”
“I’m not stubborn,” I protested.
“You know,” she mused, somehow changing the subject and throwing me completely off my defensive position in the same breath, “the mind is a very powerful thing. Some people are lucky enough to feel their feelings and recognize each one for what it is so they can process and move forward.”
I stared at the curls bunched at the back of her head. “What about the unlucky ones?”
Without glancing up, she said, “Sometimes, we can’t really tell what we’re feeling. We go numb, we shut down. We push people away in an attempt at self-preservation.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes, but I couldn’t respond, not without setting them free.
“There we go, all done. It’s healing nicely, but it’ll take some time for the scar to fade. Here, I want you to take this.” She reached into her pocket and handed me a folded pamphlet with three names and phone numbers on it. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who’s not tangled up in a situation. I think you should consider it.”
As much as I didn’t want to consider it, I took the card, offered the same wooden smile I’d been giving everyone for over a week, and went back to the store.
In the end, Milo’s mom was the one who broke through. I was in one of the back rooms on Saturday, sorting through some Valentine’s Day stock that had just come in, when Addie sent Terry to join me.
“Hey there, what’s all this?”
On my knees in a circle of red and pink, lavender and silver, I gave her the first real smile that had graced my lips in almost a week. “Getting in the holiday spirit. I’ll put this stuff out soon, but I wanted to look through it all now so I can design a window display.”
“You do all of that yourself?” Terry asked as she eased herself down to the floor at my side.
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite aspects of owning the store, actually. It gives me a chance to showcase my favorite pieces and get creative. I love this one,” I said, holding up a pink satin robe with silver hearts embroidered along the edges.
“Hoo-ey, that’s lovely,” she breathed. “I haven’t bought lingerie in almost a decade. Any chance you’d give family some early access?”
Family.I rocked back slightly, staring down at the embroidery that had gone blurry as tears hit my eyes.
“Eden, sweetheart, look at me,” Terry whispered.
I lifted my head as a tear rolled down my cheek. Terry, who was everything my mother was not—soft and maternal, warm and welcoming—wrapped her arms around me. With one hand, she guided my head to her shoulder and cooed gently in my ear.
“There, now, let it out, darling girl.”
These were not the wracking sobs I’d let consume me that night when I walked away from Milo, just a silent stream of tears that dampened my cheeks as well as Terry’s shirt. When I tried to pull away, her gentle grip kept me clasped against her.
“We haven’t known each other long, Eden, but you’re family now. Once the Davies clan has claimed you, I’m afraid there’s no turning back. Why don’t you tell me what’s been on your mind lately, darling?”
I didn’t mean to speak—in truth, I meant to give her the same bullshit response I’d been giving everyone else. Instead, I whispered, “It’s my fault.”
