“You little shit, I know you understand me,” I snipped, bending over and gently pulling my keys from his deceptively sharp–and strong for the lack of opposing thumb–grasp. My apartment key and the ‘Our Business is Dead Serious’key chain rattled in my hand as I stood up and wiggled them at Mortimer like the petty but victorious woman I was.
“Sterling.”
I spun, coming face to face with a wall of pure muscle. One that I would have liked to climb if I had more coordination and the moxie to match. I could taste the disgust in his voice. I didn’t want to look up, but I did it anyway. I was greeted by a clenched jaw and deep crimson eyes, the colour likely mimicking the rising temper I could see below the surface of his skin. His hands and arms had begun to morph, the pale-golden colour replaced by something darker and more intense.
“What?” I pleaded before I could stop myself. The last thing that I wanted to do was antagonise him further, but from the moment I’d met Thallor, I’d thrown caution to the damn wind.I’d never let his gruff, ill-tempered disposition get the better of me, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“What. Did. You. Say?” he bit the words out as if they pained him to even say them.
Gee, I don’t know, I don’t keep a track record of my mutterings.I thought back over the litany of monologuing and complaining I’d done in the last fifteen minutes, stumbling around the apartment on this cruel excuse for a treasure hunt. “I don’t know, Thallor.”
He didn’t move. He just continued to glare at me with a ferocity that had my breath lodged deep in my throat. It was so easy,soeasy to forget when we were wrapped up in the quiet comfort that had grown between us, just how terrifying Thallor could be.
But knowing him, knowing him the way I did now, I couldn’t help but be enthralled by the monster inside him. I couldn’t help but be captivated by that part of him, the one he tried so hard to keep hidden. He was both a nightmare and a dream all tangled up together. Terrifying and beautiful and all the other descriptive words in between. I wasn’t sure what the perfect word was to describe Thallor, but I knew, whatever it was, I didn’t want to wake up from this. Fromhim.
“That asshole message you? That piece of shit?” he snarled. “I swear to God, I’ll kill him.” The words came out less confident. Less sure. Almost as if he didn’t want to ask but couldn’t bring himself to stop. He averted his gaze the second understanding clicked in my brain, the rising tinge creeping its way up his neck before stopping at his high cheekbones. He looked as though he wanted to claw back the words, or erase them from my memory–something I was sure he had the power to do–but he didn’t he just stood there, staring at everything but me.
“Thallor,” I said, looking up at him. I tried to smile, but it wavered slightly, a poor attempt to ease his anxious thoughts. Itook a step toward him, starting to bridge the gap that seemed to once again stretch between us. I faltered again; my effort veiled in bravery but hardly very courageous. Not when he’d poured out his every feeling to me the previous day, only for me to fall short of telling him I felt the same.
As I approached. The greyish colour in his arms didn’t dissipate, and the deep red colouring of his eyes remained as a burning reminder of the torrent of emotions gnawing at him beneath the skin. I stepped over to him, taking a deep breath and pushing all my anxious, impulsive thoughts to the back of my head. I smiled more softly, letting my fingers knock against his still clawed hand. “Thallor, look at me,” I whispered. “Please,will you look at me?”
He didn’t move. Didn’t talk. So I pushed up onto the balls of my feet and pressed one gentle kiss to the side of his cheek. It was brief, tentative, and probably quicker than it should have been. But it took everything in me and said everything I was too chicken shit to say. I felt like that one kiss was like standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind whipping at my face. And with one small kiss, I took one terrifying step into the unknown.
No response, but that was okay. Because Iknewhe was okay. He could remain stoic in his ill-tempered mood, but he couldn’t stop me from noticing the ease of his jaw and the return of colour that rushed down his arms.
“Jude is going to be in my lecture today, but he hasn’t sat near me in a month. No one does, okay?” I let my hand linger near his, a moment longer before deciding that whilst Thallor would likely still like me when I returned, the same could not be said of Professor Caldwell.
With one final glance in his direction, I opened the door to my apartment and stumbled out. “I hope you don’t mind me wearing your hoodie,” I said, hoping it would somehow cutthrough the black fog shrouding his thoughts. I didn’t wait for an answer. I just gave him a little smile and headed out the door.
Puffy,red-cheeked, fire in my lungs, I yanked open the wooden doors and hurried into my lecture hall. I thought the thrill of racing to class was getting a little old until I saw Caldwell pass me while waiting in line for coffee. Thanking the universe that I was not once again, face to face with my freckled-faced nemesis from the library, I darted out of the queue mid-order and hurtled up the steps past where Caldwell was stood talking to another stiff-looking man, making it to my lecture just in time. And by that I mean, just before Caldwell, because anythingafter that–whether early or not–to him constituted late.
I settled into my space in a quiet corner of the hall, ignoring the “2016 Tumblr called, and they want their aesthetic back” comment from a particularly insufferable short-haired girl who sat closer to the front. The bald, middle-aged man who always seemed to don the same three-piece suit and disgusted countenance was pulling a textbook and chalk out of his briefcase as I settled into my row. It was perfect–far enough away from Caldwell to avoid his death glare and far enough from everyone else to stop them hearing my groaning stomach.
Around twenty-five minutes into the lecture, the sound of a loud creaking wooden door opening drowned out Caldwell’s voice. I’d always wondered if Caldwell had chosen this room because there was absolutely no way of sneaking in unnoticed. If you were going to be late, everyone was going to know about it. I pre-emptively winced, preparing myself for the onslaught of vitriol this student was about to be levelled with. The dooropened with ease–something that was both surprising and impressive given how heavy they were. On more than one occasion, I’d taken a running start, heaving my whole body into the door, just to get them to open.
Various images unfurled in my mind as I envisioned what was to happen next. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the way the air was pulled straight from my lungs as fiery red hair and a smirk that could kill, or at the very least,melt heartswalked into the room. Caldwell’s eyes fell on him immediately, mid through his writing ofNeolithic Shamanismas he turned to appraise Thallor. I’d expected him to sneer. Maybe to scoff. I'd certainly expected him to do something; my heart thundered as I prepared for the all-out assault between the two males. But Caldwell didn't know what he was up against, like cannon fodder sent over trench walls. I'd expected him to snarl at Thallor, which would likely result in his demise.
But he didn't. Thallor just nodded in Caldwell's direction before crossing the lecture hall and walking up the stairs.
Toward me.
His movements were slow. Painstakingly slow. Tantalisingly slow. His eyes did not move from mine as he approached, the intensity of his gaze making me all too aware of myself. I resisted the urge to claw at my messy hair, clammy hands a known enemy to well-defined curls. I retreated deeper into his oversized hoodie, internally cursing myself for my thrown-together outfit that contrasted with the stunning girls–and their Pinterest-worthy outfits–that sat at the front of the hall.
Even the prettiest of people faltered under the white, oppressive lighting overhead. And yet, Thallor seemed to come alive beneath it. Honestly, it was like seeing Godfor the first time, not that I would ever tell him that. He looked so tall. Ridiculously tall. And I couldn’t help but notice that he towered well above mostof the men in this room, even in this form. His black trousers fit him perfectly, hugging the contours of his thighs and calves. The fabric seemed to stretch and move with him, and I had to physically peel my eyes off him.
Heads turned in unison–in that ridiculous synchronised, tennis-match way–following Thallor’s direction, noting that he was either going to sit somewhere near me ornext tome. Where everyone seemed to watch him, he just watched me. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, and amusement lit up his face, which was quite the juxtaposition to the confused horror painted across mine. I did, however, see my own expression etched onto the face of the same short-haired girl from before–one that left me with nothing but a sense of immense pride.Get an ass like mine, and skinny jeans always stay in fashion.
When Thallor reached my row, he just stared down at me, a look of challenge and something else–something that had my cheeks burning–written across his face. In our current position, I had a perfect view of his…Nope, nope, nope. Not the time.He motioned for me to shuffle down, which I did without a second thought, using the movement to distract me from my own depraved thoughts.
Thallor’s shoulders brushed against mine as he settled in next to me, the scent of firewood engulfing me in something safe and warm. Several heads still lingered on us, including Jude’s, whose eyes bore into me. I wanted to say he looked jealous, but I knew this was one of those threw-my-toy-out-of-the-pram situations. But it was certainly made worse by the two-hundred-and-ten-pound block of muscle sitting next to me. He might have been bothered, but I was downright delighted.
“Thallor,” I started as he shifted closer to me and draped an arm on the back of the chair next to me, following my eyeline to where Jude was still staring at us. “Why are you here?”
He shrugged, offering up that same smile that turned mystomach over in knots before looking back at the blackboard. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”I just wanted to make sure he didn’t bother you.
The power this male had over me. His words wiggled and weaved until they lodged themselves in the deepest corner of my heart, just like everything else he had said over the last twenty-four hours. I was falling for him and I couldn’t stop it. Past Quincey would be laughing in my face right about now. My cynicism was meant to protect me, but all it had served to do was obstruct what was occurring before my very eyes.
Maybe it was one of those long, lazy, too comfortable nights when I was half asleep but persistent about staying awake to watchjust one moremovie. Maybe it had seeped in slowly, sweetly, the way his strawberry jam would melt into warm, buttery bread. Either way, the feelings were there, and I wasn’t sure I could ignore them anymore.
