“Oh, honey.” Margaret wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I blink hard at the physical affection as another tear finds itself in my drink.
They do say chocolate and salt go well together.
“Did you know I’ve been there?” Margaret admits softly.
I look up to meet her gaze for the first time since I’ve barged in here, eyes wide with hope. “You’ve had tears mix with your hot chocolate?”
Margaret chuckles. “Fortunately, no,” she says before quieting.The memories seem to pass through her, reflected in the pale of her irises, one by one, dimming her light.
“I told you bits and pieces of Phil’s and my story, but never the whole thing.” She takes a step away, gloved hands wrapping tight around her mug as she stares at her own drink.
I stay quiet, careful not to disturb her as she collects her thoughts.
“A year after we got married, we decided to try for a baby, but somehow each pregnancy test came back negative. I was twenty-five at the time—too young to have trouble conceiving—and after two years of failure, we found out I was infertile.”
She does nothing but stare ahead, her eyes growing glassy.
“For the following months, I couldn’t bear seeing my reflection in the mirror, and I couldn’t handle my husband looking at me either. It felt like I failed as a woman and as a wife, especially when all we’ve ever wanted was to be parents.” Her voice cracks at the words, the tears running down her face.
“Naturally, I avoided the topic at all costs, and eventually,him. I purposely threw myself into whatever distraction I could find, hoping it would get better with time, but it never did. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I couldn’t make Phil a father, so I went behind his back and filed for divorce.”
I gasp at the admission. “No!"
Margaret lets out a pained chuckle. “I had it all planned out: leave the papers on his dresser and be out of the house when he finds them. But in true Phil fashion, he tracked me down.”
“That must have been so hard to do,” I say, unable to fathom giving up the person I love out of love for them.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve done to date.” She nods with a sad smile. “When he found me, we fought long and hard—him trying to make me stay, me insisting he could get everything he wanted with someone else. Phil said he didn’t care about the children as long as he had me, but it took so long to overcome those self-deprecating beliefs. We’ve foughtforeach other since, and that’s how you’re finding us here today—happy and in love.”
I pull her close, resting the side of my head against hers.
I admired those elders so much, thinking they had the kind of love you could only find once in a lifetime. And while that still holds true, their struggles have added a depth to their relationship I hadn’t noticed before.
“All that to say,” Margaret continues. “People have things going on in their lives that you may not be aware of. And the only way to sort it out is through communication. He may be distant right now, Vivienne, but that manlovesyou. I see it in the pictures they print in the papers—you can’t fake something like that. Give him time to sort through his stuff. He’ll come around.”
I want to believe her, with all my heart, but I’ve set unbelievably high expectations for myself one too many times. And the only place that led me was into a rabbit hole of disappointment when things didn’t go as planned.
“Hey!” She nudges my shoulder at the sight of my face. “Positive thoughts only, or you’ll send me into cardiac arrest. Do you want that?”
I frown. “No. Of course not.”
Margaret sets her finished cup of hot cocoa on the window ledge and places mine right next to hers before she wraps me in her signature bear hug.
“Things always work out, Vivienne. You may not see it in the moment, but something brighter is always on the other side. I may not have had kids, but I found you. So don’t worry about Nate. That man will come around.”
Another quiet sniffle slips out, and a choked laugh escapes me when she smacks my back in disapproval.
“No crying when things always work out.” Margaret pulls back with a firm look. “Now, what are you going to do?” She asks.
When I groan, she hits my side.“I’m going to fight,” I reply eventually.
“What are you going to do?” Her voice grows louder.
“I’m going to fight!” The words leave me with more confidence as a new wave of determination courses through me.
In the beginning, I was fighting to resist him, but now, I guess I’ll have to fight harder to get him to stay. Nate and I share something special, I know it. Something was off that night at the hotel, and whatever it was that broke his spirit, we’ll work to overcome it.
With one last wipe across my face, I take out my phone, determined to try once again, when I find he’s already beat me to the punch.
