“That’s the first step to achieving anything.”
Big brown eyes analyze mine, and I stand there with a smile, unaware of what’s going through her mind. It takes a while for her to speak again, but when she does, it’s from a deep, personal realization.
“I’ve gone the last year of my PhD believing I couldn’t get anything done. I told myself every day that I wasn’t goodenough—that I’d never get to my end goal. You had an entire presentation stolen right from you, and you’re not crying or throwing a fit. You’re telling yourself you can do it, and you genuinely believe it.” Vivienne shakes her head in disbelief, eyes glassy until quiet tears spill down her face.
Without a thought, I step closer to her, wrap my arms around her, and press her head to my chest. My fingers instinctively thread through her hair, feeling the dampness seeping into my shirt.
“I’m so stupid,” Vivienne mumbles under her breath.
“That’s not true,” I argue.
“The first step to achieving anything is believing in yourself,” she says between sniffles. “And here I was, telling myself the opposite.”
“You can always change that, you know?”
Vivienne lifts her head, resting her chin on my sternum. “It’s just so hard sometimes. I tell myself I can do it, but when things keep not working, the doubt takes over. With zero results for so long, I start to anticipate it.”
I press my lips to her forehead, hoping it quiets her mind—erases every worry until nothing is left. Better yet, give them all to me so that I can deal with the pain myself.
“We all start somewhere. No one’s perfect, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We all try and fail, but the only thing that differentiates the ones who make it from the ones who don’t is whether you get back up again.”
Vivienne stills in my arms, and the shudders that once wracked through her body are gone. Before I know it, she’s pulling away from me, wiping the tears off her face and nodding in agreement.
“You’re right. I’m not stupid, and I’m not a bad chemist. Trying and failing hurts so damn bad, but I shouldn’t have let that mess with me.”
Her brown eyes lock onto mine, fierce with determination. Pride swells in my chest. It’s as if a fire has been lit inside her—burning so brightly that she’s already on the road to getting everythingshe wants.
“If you’re not going to sleep, then I’m not either. Do you need help with the new presentation? I can start reading academic aerospace engineering papers, or however it works in the engineering world.”
My heart squeezes in my chest.That’smygirl. Feisty. Strong. Knowing that if she sets her mind to something, she can accomplish it. I don’t need her help with anything, but if she transfers that mindset to her own work, there’s no doubt she’ll be on top of the world.
“Not needed.”
“Then I guess I’ll work on my stuff…and I’m stealing your clothes because I have nothing comfortable to wear.” Vivienne nods once before spinning on her heels and making a beeline for my suitcase.
Within minutes, she’s joined me at the rounded dining table, laser-focused on the paper she’s reading.
Hair in a messy bun. Oversized sweats and a sweater. A cup of coffee with one cream and one sugar as she stares at her laptop. This woman looks in her element, and for the following hours, we’re both fully engrossed in our work.
Night sky eventually turns to morning—oranges, pinks, and blues weaving across high-rise buildings—and Vivienne has fully passed out. Her arms folded over her open laptop and her head smack down in the middle of the keyboard.
I pick her up and tuck her into bed with a kiss on her forehead before getting back to work.
By the time she wakes up, mere hours before I’m supposed to talk on stage, I’ve completed the presentation and finalized all blueprints and simulations.
Whether what I’ve done is good enough is questionable at best, but I can’t dwell on any of that now.
A disheveled Vivienne lazily smiles at me as she gets out of bed. “I’m probably not one to talk, but you should probably clean yourself up before your presentation. The dark circles are dark circling.”
I crack a laugh, patting my lap for her to come over.
Despite her reluctance, she walks over in my direction and plops herself down in the seat next to mine. I roll my eyes as I latch onto the leg of the chair, dragging it over to me before picking her up and setting her down where I want her.
“We can’t do this!” Vivienne pushes against my chest in a futile attempt to create distance. “You need to focus on your presentation.”
“But I’m done.” I pout, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck. I take in the smell of her, reveling in the citrus scent of whatever products she uses.
“Really?” Vivienne pulls back in surprise, and I nod.
