And I knew.
Whatever had happened down there, it wasn’t natural.
It washim.
Chapter twelve
Delayed Penalty - A penalty is signaled, but play continues temporarily.
Cole
I didn’t even remember the last five minutes of the game. I was skating on autopilot, just trying to keep my head from splitting open. I could still feel the way the ice had burned under me, the way the cold had twisted and warped into something hotter and hungrier, just for a second. Long enough for the steam to rise, long enough for everyone to see.
Long enough for the old terror to set in.
I sat on the bench, head down, hands shaking so badly I couldn’t get my helmet off. My gloves felt glued to my fingers. I kept expecting Coach to come by and yell, but he didn’t. Nobody did. They must have seen the look on my face and decided to let me be.
The locker room was a blur after. I didn’t even remember undressing. I just kept thinking about the way the ice had melted, the way the trainers had hovered, the way the cameras had zoomed in for some “quirky malfunction” but really, anyonewith eyes could see it wasn’t normal. It was me. I was the freak of nature, just like my father always said.
I’d barely gotten my pads off when Keegan dropped onto the bench next to me, all bounce and buzz and weirdly gentle eyes. He didn’t say anything for a minute, just sat there with his foot tapping on the tile. I thought maybe the rookie would start chirping at me like usual, but he just waited until everyone else had filtered out.
Then he nudged my knee with his. “You okay?”
I couldn’t even look at him. “Fine.”
“Liar.” He said it so softly I almost missed it. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I wanted to tell him I was busy, or tired, or any of the usual bullshit. But my hands were still shaking, and when I tried to undo my laces, I fumbled so hard I nearly punched myself in the thigh. He reached out and stilled my hands with his.
It shocked me so much I actually looked up, and he let go. I almost shook my head. I kept to myself with the team. I had to, but I’d never heard him mention a wife or girlfriend. Wait…was he hitting on me?I went to stand even though I was still shaking but met his eyes.
Keegan’s eyes were bright blue, almost silver around the edges. Not normal. Not even close to normal. I’d noticed it before but never really paid attention. Except now, when he looked at me, it was like he was seeing right through my skin.
“You did good out there,” he said. “But you scared the shit out of me.”
I swallowed. “It was just a bad hit.”
He grinned, but it wasn’t the usual cocky smirk. “Yeah. But you and I both know it wasn’t just the hit.” He leaned in, lowering his voice until it was barely a whisper. “You ever have trouble keeping it in before?”
My whole body went cold. I didn’t answer. Couldn’t.
He nudged me again, this time a little harder. “It’s not your fault, you know. You’re not the only one. If you don’t have a safe space to go, my uncle owns a ton of land not too far away.”
I stared at him, desperate for him to just say it, to just tell me I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t the only monster in the room, but my throat locked up. All I could do was squeeze my hands together until my knuckles turned white.
Keegan just waited. He didn’t push. Didn’t even look away. He let me sit there, hunched over, sweat freezing cold on my spine, until I could remember how to breathe.
I wanted to ask him if he’d seen it. I wanted to know what he thought he’d seen. The words wouldn’t come out. They stuck, choking me.
He leaned in a little closer, dropped his voice so low I almost missed it. “You’re not alone, you know.”
I just shook my head. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t. But he didn’t seem pissed, or scared, or even surprised. Just…there.
“I'm sure you know if you hold it in too long it gets worse.” His eyes were so bright, I couldn’t look at them for more than a second. “I saw the ice. No one else noticed, but I did.”
I swallowed hard. There was a roaring in my ears. “You’re not going to tell anyone?”
He smiled, but it wasn’t mean. “Like who? I keep the same secret.”
