Deciding not to immediately respond, I looked over at Senior.
“Do you love me, Senior?” He chuckled and shook his head, looking toward the ceiling. “Do you like me? Can you look at me and say either of those things? If not, we don’t need to continue this conversation.”
Sighing, he set his fork against his plate. “What does it matter if I love you or not? I’ve provided for you and took care of you since your mother died. I tried to help you with your career. I’m your father. I don’t have to like you. I’ve taken care of myresponsibilities. You’re an adult now. Whatever you get from me at this point is a bonus.”
“Wow,” I muttered as tears filled my eyes.
I knew my father didn’t like me.
I knew he didn’t care about me.
I knew he didn’t love me.
I knew he only tolerated me.
I tried to convince myself the vibe was off and I was overreacting, but I could no longer do that.
In all that he’d said, what he didn’t say was loud.
Senior didn’t love me.
Senior didn’t like me.
My father only saw me as a responsibility to raise until I turned eighteen, and now, he was done.
Isaac sucked his teeth as I stood. “Come on, man. Why couldn’t you just tell my sister you love her?”
“You want me to lie?”
Clutching my chest, I walked to the kitchen on weak knees. I didn’t think I’d make it to the trash can, so I set my plate on the counter and briskly made my way outside. The blast of windy fresh air made me feel like I could breathe, because in that house, I felt like I was suffocating. I opened my car door, but a large hand on my arm turned me and kept me from getting inside.
“My fault, L. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. That was fucked up as hell.” When he tried to wipe my tears, I swatted his hand away. “Ilove you. I love yousomuch. Regardless of how he feels. And I got you. Just make sure you don’t let Falcon come between us. Especially since I’m all you got now.”
That snapped something inside of me.
“You’re all I got now?” I repeated. “You think I trust you? You just heard that man talk to me like that, and all you have to say is that was fucked up, and you think I trust you?”
“Eli . . .”
“You expect me not to confide in the one man that chooses me, and you think I trust you?Falconis all I fucking got, and I gave him up for you, and you don’t even give afuckabout that shit! All you care about is what’s best foryou! You don’t want him to tell you how fucked up you and your daddy treat me, and you’d rather I suffer in silence than have someone in my corner! You’re just as fucked up as Senior, just in a different way. Both of y’all can get the hell out of my life for all I care.”
“Eli, wait. Please don’t leave it like this. What do you want me to do? I can’t make him treat you any differently.”
“Yeah, but you definitely accept it and make him think this shit is okay,” I said, getting into my car. “And you know what? As long as you allow this shit and try to keep me away from Falcon, I want nothing to do with you.”
“Baby sis.”
Isaac reached for me, but I pushed his arm away and slammed my door shut. Remembering he’d gotten me the car had me opening it and stepping out. I didn’t even want the shit anymore.
“Here.” I shoved the key in his chest before walking down the driveway.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting an Uber. Take the car back. I don’t want shit from you.”
“Now you’re just being dramatic. Take this car and go home.”
“I don’t have a home!” I yelled. “I left my home because my best friend slept with my boyfriend. And then I left your home because you tried to take my friend away from me and let your daddy talk crazy to me. My future home, the one gifted to me by the only man that’s ever loved me unconditionally, is yet to be built. My home, the place that felt the most like home, I can’t go to because you want me to stay the fuck away from him!”
