I couldn’t let their betrayal take my spirit.
My voice.
My breath.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in my dark, quiet corner, but eventually, Falcon arrived. It was cute that he had a to-go cup fromBrewedin one hand and a bag from the dispensary in the other. He gave Wayne a head nod greeting before heading in my direction and sitting next to me.
“Isaac said to get you the lemon ginger tea and salt and vinegar chips fromBrewedand that you only like to smoke sativa when you’re recording because it doesn’t make your throat super dry.”
“Yeah. I’m just gonna take a few puffs and sip the tea. Sometimes the rasp works with the song. I can’t say if that’ll be the case tonight because I don’t know what I’m going to record.” As I took the tea, I told him, “Thank you. Isaac didn’t give you a hard time about coming here, did he?”
“Nah. He said he felt like something might have been up with you, which was why he called. I told him I’d make sure you were okay.”
I nodded as I sipped the tea. Leaning against his shoulder, I took his hand into mine.
“Thanks again for what you said earlier. It helped a lot. You being here is a bonus.”
“Anything for you. I’m still open for that duet . . .”
“Oh God no,” I said through my laugh. “You’re phenomenal on the field, but I need you to leave the singing to me.”
Falcon laughed and ran his fingers down the corners of his mouth. “I’ma let you have that since it made you laugh.”
We sat and allowed silence to cover us. By the time I was done with the tea, just having him close had lifted my spirits. I had him light the blunt while I told Wayne what I wanted to record next.
“I don’t have clearance for either of these songs, but let’s do ‘Above and Beyond’ and ‘Speak’ by Jhené Aiko.”
While I waited for him to get the instrumentals, I rotated the blunt with Falcon and ate the chips. It would definitely make my voice raspy, and that was what I wanted. I wanted to sound real and raw. Once Wayne had the tracks queued, I gave Falcon a quick peck then went back in the booth. That time, the words and emotion flowed effortlessly. I did both songs in one take but went back over a few parts and added some stacked harmonies.
Wayne whistled under his breath as he sat back in his seat. “Yeah, we gotta get you clearance to release both of those ASAP. That rasp and the emotion . . .” He shook his head.
As I walked out of the booth, I told him, “I’m gonna call it a night, Wayne. Thanks for your patience. I know we haven’t gotten a lot done this past month but?—”
“Nah.” He waved me off dismissively. “What you just laid down was worth the wait. Quality over quantity in this case.”
“Thank you.”
Falcon stared at me as I made my way over to the love seat. I smiled as I sat next to him.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m in awe of you. If this is how people feel watching me play football, I finally get it. I’ve always known you were talented, but this just made me your number one fan.”
“That felt good. I think I just had to accept the space I’m in. I felt breathless as hell, but I’m confident about what I just did.”
“Nah. That sounded phenomenal. The added runs, the rasp, the emotion. I clearly can’t say I’m speechless, but I can say I don’t think there’s anything I can say to express how impressed I am. How moved I am. How great you sounded.”
People complimented me all the time, but it never swayed me one way or the other. Isaac would always say giving people the power to lift you up meant they also had the power to drag you down. That kept him from caring about the opinions of others, and I’d adopted that mentality as well. But there was somethingdifferent about Falcon giving me a compliment. I guess it was that whole . . . me admiring him and actually caring about his opinion thing.
“You keep making me blush.”
“Good. You’re too beautiful not to, and I’m always tryna see that smile.”
Before I could stop myself, I was pressing my hand against his thigh and leaning forward to kiss him.
“Falcon,” I whispered against his lips before pulling away. “You can’t . . . we can’t . . .”
“We can do whatever the fuck we want to do, Eli. For however long you want us to. You ain’t gotta hold back with me.”
