He held up air quotes.
Marcus and I had been officially together andliving togetherfor three months now. For the first time in our existence, we were not sneaking around, not hiding, or hoping not to get caught. He finally got the balls to divorce his wife and talked her into taking a settlement that included keeping the house and full custody of the kids. According to him, his wife didn’t fight it the way he expected she would. He said she, in fact, didn’t argue, didn’t beg, and didn’t drag it out. He said that she was probably already seeing someone else, but I figured she was just tired. Marcus has a way of wearing people down. Making everything you believed in with him in the beginning, all of a sudden, feel like a facade.
When we pulled up to the condo we were renting, Marcus parked, got out, and came around to open my door like he always did, since he practiced polite, almost performative methods of being my boyfriend.
I stepped out slowly, wobbling a little as I rubbed my stomach. My baby felt like he was sitting high and pressing right up under my ribs. I remember I used to think my sister was dramatic when she was pregnant with Love, and I used to downplay it. Now I see, pregnancy is just as painful as labor can be, which I don’t even want to think about until the time comes.
“Beautiful, I am going to go back to the office to pick up my laptop. You sure you're good going up by yourself?”
“Yes, of course, I am good, babe.”
I replied.
Marcus held the door open for me, and then I wobbled inside slowly before turning around at the elevators and finally hitting stop on the voice memo I’d been recording.
Once I saw Marcus was gone, I doubled back outside and into the garage faster than I’d walked in a long time. My heart was racing because I was on a clock now, and what I was about to do had to be done before Marcus made it back to the condo.
I slid into my brand-new Bentley, which he’d bought me a few days ago, the leather still smelling untouched, and pulled off quickly. A few blocks later, the 24th Precinct came into view, gray and ugly, a direct view of how my life had felt on the inside. I found an open meter right out front, luckily close enough to the entrance.
The second I walked inside, the noise hit me: phones ringing, officers yelling, metal doors clanging, people arguing all at once. Straight up chaos, and I couldn’t wait to get out of here.I walked straight up to the counter where a desk duty sheriff sat, eyes already heavy like he’d seen too much today.
I knew once I opened my mouth, there was no undoing what I said. This was it.
“Yes, can I assist you, ma’am?”
“Uhh, yes, I am here to turn in some tapes that I’ve been collecting. They prove that there is a corrupt prosecutor working major cases in New York, and he also forced me to be in a relationship with him and quit my law practice. I want out, as well as justice for all the people he’s wrongfully convicted.”
His eyes perked up, and he saw right away this wasn’t just a normal concern.
“Okay, give me a minute.” he looked confused as he rolled back in his chair to page whoever to the front. I was anxious standing at this counter, but I was finally feeling vindicated for all the time I’ve put in. It took me all these months, but I think I finally got him. No cases he’s built in the past few years will matter once they get these tapes, and a lot of people will go free due to the sacrifice I made to play him for the majority of this year. At the end of the day, I was doing one last good deed for Crew, and the entire city of New York before me and my son are gone for good.
I’m ready for a new start. I’m ready to live life for me and the life I created.
Chapter 19
Pernelle
Six months later
I was trying to stay in good spirits today because it was my birthday, and because we were that much closer to finishing the house. I had my baby on my hip as I walked through the living room, where the last touches were being added to the floors.
“Does everything look good to you?” The head contractor asked.
“Of course it does. I love it. I’m going to have to tell Scotty y’all are highly recommended.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
Scotty’s uncle pressed his hands together with a proud smile on his face.
This whole renovation went smoother than I imagined. It was mostly thanks to them and to Ciara, who helped me find a vision I didn’t even realize I had. Buying this house turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me at that point in my life. It gave me something to keep busy and focus on.
When Crew got sentenced and left, I spiraled fast. Depression, anger, and loneliness hit all at once. It felt likeeverything we’d been building was wasted like it had never been real at all, because it all crashed down together. His father’s actions weren’t right, and I can only hope karma finds him someday. He took away a father from his child, a protector from his girl. A son from his mother.
Crew left all his money and assets to Amira and me, but I wasn’t reckless with it. In fifteen years, when he gets out, I know he’ll want money waiting on him, so I check with him before making any big purchases. Recently, I asked if I could invest in Ciara’s plant shop, hoping to double our money. Ciara left the center in good hands with Mindy; chasing her real dream which was more important to her. She loves nature, and I truly believe the coffee and plant shop idea is a good investment. Ciara's design is unique, and no where in New York is like it. I am excited to see it grow.
I visited Crew as often as I could and always brought the baby. Amira knew her daddy and her face lit up every time he appeared around the corner in that all-white suit. Even behind bars, he was still handsome, still smooth and happy-go-lucky. During visits, I saw guards laughing with him and talking to him like he was just another regular guy, which always put me at ease. At least my baby wasn’t in there feeling like he let us down, because he didn’t. He followed his heart, and I can’t be mad at that. Honestly, I’m with one of the realest niggas there is.
After talking with the contractor, I stepped outside to find Ciara in her garden by the porch, surrounded by flowers almost as tall as she was. I could still picture her watering the plants every day back in that tiny Castle Hill apartment, calling them Envouge. Now, she referred to the ones out here as Destiny’s Child and had a favorite plant she called Beyoncé.
