“Oh, I wasn’t involved in anything.” He replied with a confident chuckle.
“Cut the act,” I shot back.
“I’m fucking naked right now, so there is no need to deny anything. What do you think, they put a wire under my skin? I don’t fucking know what’s going on, and I’ll be honest, I already have a lot on my plate. I’m jobless, about to be homeless, and I don’t even know what me and you are anymore, so that little spark in my life is slowly leaving too.”
“We’ve been having fun, up until you overstepped.”
I shook my head.
“Okay, I admit, I did that, but it’s because I wanted you to stay with me so bad, Crew. I mean I like you and in my mind, I had to do what I had to do to keep you in my reach. You just don’t know what you do to me. Even right now, just looking at you makes me so fucking weak.”
My emotions got the best of me, and I reached over the seat, grabbed him, and pulled him toward me, trying to kiss his lips, but he dodged me like a bullet.
“What are you doing, Bria. We didn’t come here for that.”
“And! Let’s just have sex please. Let’s make love, and then I can think straight.”
“We’re not about to have sex under a bridge, and I can’t make love to someone I don’t love.”
“Wow, this new act is because of your baby mama, isn’t it?”
“Look, don’t bring her up. She has nothing to do with how I’m feeling right now. I’m confused myself about a lot of shit, but P is not in my ear telling me shit. Her and I are coparenting right now and that’s it.”
“Crew Coparenting is just a new word for baby mamas and baby daddies to fuck with one another. Just like you said, I’m not dumb, Crew. I’m not dumb at all.”
Tears started to run down my face, and all this told me was that I was too far gone in this game, and I needed an escape route. Sitting up here trying to make something work because of a trauma bond and this man having good dick is going to do nothing but further hurt me in the future. I did this same thing with Marcus. He found me at one of the most vulnerable times of my life, with my brother going to jail, and law school coming down on me hard. I often feel the need to be with someone to ignore my real-life issues, not realizing that being with certain people can bring even more issues in my life. I’m just done with this shit.
“Crew, I need to leave, so could you please grab my clothes from outside the car and give them to me, so that I can leave. I’ll only reach out to you again if I need to, alright. I won’t be a bother in your life anymore.”
Crew exhaled deeply.
“Bria, you doing too fuckin much.”
“No I’m not. Crew, it sounds like you already know what you want out of life, and I don’t have your kid to build that bond with you, so I’ll forever be irrelevant to your growth. All I come with is baggage. That’s all I have to offer you or anybody. So, I’ll make sure everything on my end with that case is handled, and you don’t have to worry about hearing from me anymore.”
“Bria, you're talking like I wasn’t fuckin with you tough when I was. You are the breath of fresh air that I needed in my life.”
“And now you can breathe just fine, so please get my clothes so that I can go. Please Crew”
I crossed my arms over my bare chest and glanced out of the window. The fact that I was sitting here butt naked let me know I had really lost the plot.
All I wanted was to get in my car and drive so far that New York became nothing but a glimpse of my past, but then again, that would be too easy. That would go against everything I’ve ever known or stood for.
I know how to play Marcus’s game, and I know I need the right players on my side. If I had to pretend, I’d pretend just to know I won in the end, and I’ll show Crew it didn’t take for me to have his kid to have his back. Some men don’t know how to cherish their good things until they are a thing of the past.
I got dressed and got out of Crew’s car so fast that he didn’t have much time to say anything else to me. I took off from under the bridge and then pulled up the keypad on my dashboard and dialed Marcus’s number.
“Abria, you got some nerve calling me when you slapped the hell out of me earlier.”
“Meet me at my house in twenty minutes, Marcus.”
“For what?”
“Because I want to see you. I need to see you. What we’re doing, going against each other, needs to stop. I get it now. I need you in my life, and I want to be your everything. Start putting me first, and I’ll do the same.”
He chuckled, feeling accomplished.
“I hear you, Abria. I’ll be there, baby.”
