“So, are you and Hov doing okay? Especially with the loss you guys have recently? I know you two didn’t get the properchance to grieve, with me showing up at your doorsteps with my own problems.”
“Yes, we are good. We’re trying to find a happy place again, even though I can tell he’s still angry inside about everything that happened. Both he and Crew are, but that is why we both have to show them a little grace right now.”
“Grace? I don’t think so.”
“I’m serious, P. As much as you may not like it, we are both involved with two very dangerous men who do dangerous things, and we have to keep them grounded so that they won't lose control.”
“But there is a huge difference you are forgetting. You are married to your dangerous man. I just happened to have fucked my dangerous man and made a baby with him. I don’t feel an actual connection to Crew because we never tried to make one. It’s just been sex, and now a baby shared between us.”
I leaned back in my seat, staring up at the sky through the glass roof.
“I just can’t stop thinking about that night, Ci. That, along with what Crew was doing and who he was doing it with. I bet it was some bottom-of-the-barrel bitch that he was fucking with that night who wasn’t worth shit.”
Ciara twisted her lips to the side with an uncomfortable look on her face.
“Ciara, is there something you want to say?” I leaned forward in my seat. “I mean, do you know who he was with? He was at the party with y’all, now that I think about it. Did you see who he left with?”
“To be honest with you, I did, and I’m only telling you this because I’m loyal to you, just like Hov is loyal to Crew. I knowwho he was with, and unfortunately, she is not the bottom of the barrel friend.”
“Well, who is she? Come on, tell me.” I begged her for the information.
“Pernelle, please don’t tell him I told you anything, because I don’t want to hear Hov’s mouth about me gossiping.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Well, her name is Bria, and she’s Hov’s lawyer.”
“His lawyer?” I blinked. “That’s who Crew was fucking with? A lawyer?”
“Yes. I guess. I mean, I didn’t even know they had anything going on until they were all on each other at the party before the shooting happened. Then they left together.”
“Oh wow. So, he’s fucking a lawyer. Interesting.”
I leaned back in the seat, now even more pissed off than I was before. I don’t care what anybody says, it's easier to know that your man, or the person you want to be your man, is fucking with someone uglier than you, broker than you, or someone who’s been passed around more than you. I know I didn’t have it all, but my body alone could shut down a lot of bitches as competition. I, however, can’t compete with a woman who is that sophisticated. Crew may think in his head that opposites attract or some shit.
It was quiet out here now, silent in that awkward kind of way. I tapped my fingers together over my stomach, which had only gone down a little since I had the baby.
“Yo, Pretty P!” I heard Crew’s voice shout from the back door just as thoughts of slapping the fuck out of him ran through my head.
I rolled my eyes so fuckin hard before I finally stood up to see what he wanted.
“What is it?” I yelled back.
“I'm sorry, but can you come get her real fast. I have to use the restroom.”
“Girl, I’ll be back.”
“I can go get her if you want. You don’t have to do all that walking, P.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll get her. I want to give her a couple of kisses anyway.” I lied about my reasoning for wanting to go inside the house.
I walked from the garden and up the stairs, where Crew was standing in the doorway, bouncing Amira and smiling in her face. Even that shit was irritating me right now. I wanted to tell my daughter not to fall for a man with pretty teeth like her father because a lot of their asses have ugly intentions behind good looks.
“Here goes, mama, pretty girl. She’s going to hold you for a little bit while daddy gets himself together, alright?” He bounced his finger that she had her hand wrapped around.
“Crew, why couldn’t you just lay her down while you use the restroom?”
“Because she was probably going to cry, and you know I don’t like that shit.”
