His brows scrunched so tight they looked like they were one. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
She sighed. “Of course, the prospect of imminent death bothers me. But I’m able to see the good in the world because Ichooseto. I’m not only looking for the bad like you are.”
He recoiled slightly.
“I choose to enjoy the good things, not resent the world for all the bad.” Orelia lifted the vines making up the leafy skirt of her dress. “I’ve never left Minro, and here I am in the Greywood, having danced in the forest with pixies under a beautiful willow dressed like a forest creature. I’m going to enjoy it while I can. Not even the carnador can dim my happiness on this night.”
Vade shook his head. “Your positivity is annoying.” The words were harsh, but his tone wasn’t.
“And your pessimism is exhausting, fae. Why don’t you ever let yourself enjoy anything?”
He plopped down on his bedroll. “I do enjoy things.”
“I mean something other than fucking and killing.”
His lips quirked. “When it comes to things I enjoy, hearing you curse is one of them. It’s . . .cute. Such harsh language from such an innocent little lamb.”
“I’m not so innocent.” The dip in her voice came out sultry, enticing. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and resumed twirling around the space, humming to herself. “And I won’t let you ruin my night. I’ve spent every dark moon of my adulthood tending to the girls who suffered at the hands of violent men. I spent the moons afraid, wondering if they would try to hurt me, too.”
A muscle in Vade’s jaw ticked.
“This is the first time I’ve ever done anything thatIwanted to do. I wanted to let Evie dress me up. I wanted to wear beautiful clothes. I wanted to dance. I wanted to enjoy feeling like a woman for once. Not just a healer confined to some damp, moldy room, only useful because she has a job to do.”
Vade rested an elbow leisurely on his bent knee, his face softening. “You have more value than just being a healer.”
She couldn’t tell if his sentiment was true or false. “That sounds strange coming from you.”
“I just mean you had friends back home. You had a lover. Clearly people liked something in you that wasn’t just about your ability to help others.”
“And I haven’t had a lover since.” The admission slipped right out in mumbled words. Not that Minro had the best offerings to choose from, but no one other than Tommen had shown interest.
“What about that boy you mentioned?” Vade asked, lips tightening, almost in a snarl.
Her eyes went distant, remembering a night she and Tommen had laid under the stars near her rose bushes, tangled up in one another under the cover of a warm blanket. “I think maybe we were only meant to love each other at that point in time and no more.”Love was a blessing, but not all blessings were meant to last.
All this time around Vade and she still couldn’t decipher the looks on his face. He searched her eyes, but she didn’t know what it meant. He was so guarded, so hellsbent on not letting anyone close that she knew she’d never fully understand what went on in his head.
“Well, maybe the reason you haven’t had a lover since is because you don’t know how to flirt,” he said, smiling faintly.
His comment sent an unstoppable laugh flying out of her. “I do know how to flirt! The pixie I danced with the most was certainly interested.”
Vade ran a hand through his hair. “Ah, yes.Him.” The last word came out with a bite.
She wanted to taunt him, wanted to play. To forget the past and enjoy the night. Orelia lost herself in a dance of her own creation. She let herself bend and sway in fluid motions, head tipped to the ceiling, imagining being bathed in the dark moon’s lavender light. She knew the beautiful dress made of the earth moved with her, accentuating her silhouette, bringing out the kind of femininity she had so often desired for herself. The kind that wanted to indulge, not hide away hoping someone wouldn’t notice her.
She let the memories of the fireflies flitting through the willow and the pixies’ laughter bring a fullness to her heart. Her feet spun in the dirt, and she had never felt so connected to nature. Like this was how she should have been feeling all her life.
When she had finished her dance, Vade was staring at her, eyes burning in the glow of the single trulight.
“Don’t stop.” The deep timbre of his voice made her skin flash with heat.
When she lifted her arms to thread her fingers through her hair, his eyes went to her legs that had become more exposed with her movements.
Vade not so discreetly adjusted himself in his pants. The sight sent a wave of boldness through her, and Orelia swished her hips as she approached, offering him her hand. “Dance with me.”
“I told you, I don’t dance.”
“And I’m asking you to make an exception. Just this once.”
