“No, no, no! You had more seidr sana in here. I know you did!”
His chest barely moved.
“Fuck!” Orelia went back to healing his wings. She cursed herself for not thinking to get more sana before they’d left Axelton.
A shaky hand cupped her face. “Orelia,” he whispered.
Her face bunched as she glanced at him.
Vade smiled, rubbing a trembling thumb against her cheek. “I would have liked having a home with you.”
Orelia sobbed as his hand slipped from her face and his eyes shut. She closed her eyes and put every ounce of strength into healing his wings. When she could feel that the two tears had closed, she opened her eyes and moved her palms down to the next injured area. She glanced at Vade and gasped.
His chest was still. Lips parted. Eyes open.
“Vade!” She shook him by the shoulders, but he didn’t stir.
Her heart felt like it had been ripped from her chest. She screamed his name over and over, but he never responded.
“No, no, no.” She looked from his eyes to her hands and back, but even as the wound sealed, Vade remained lifeless.
Orelia burst into a full-body sob. “You can’t die!” His wings were healing much faster now, and she worked her way across his left one until every wound was sealed.
“Wake up,” she begged. “Please wake up!”
He remained staring at the sky. His right wing was still a shredded mess, but she healed it anyway, bawling through the minutes that passed with him remaining unresponsive.
When the final tear had sealed, and all his wounds had been healed, Orelia sat back and looked him over. She stared at his chest, waiting for him to start breathing again.
“Come on,” she whispered. “You can do it.”
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, one hand closed around his, waiting. Each second that passed tore a piece of her heart. More than her heart. Her soul was being shredded.
He wasn’t waking up.
Orelia collapsed onto his chest, cheek pressed against his bloody leathers. His skin had gone cold and the only movement of his body was from her sobs shaking him.
“Please . . .this can’t be it.” She looked back at him and brushed a strand of hair back from his frozen face.
Tears dripped onto her lips. “We made it so far. You can’t do this to me now.” Orelia spoke to him, knowing he couldn’t hear her, but hoping somehow the gods would grant her mercy and bring him back. Her tears dripped onto his leathers, and she thought of the life they could have had together. Of everything they would miss out on.
She thought of lying in bed until the morning sun woke them.
She thought of introducing him to Teegan and Morton.
She thought of loving him, day and night, and blessing him with a family if he wanted one.
She had failed. Her healing hadn’t been enough. Orelia screamed up at the sky, cursing the gods that had shown her happiness for taking it away so soon. She laid her head on Vade’s chest, refusing to leave him.
“Come back to me,” she whispered over and over.
But he didn’t.
thirty-six
Her tears soaked Vade’sleathers.
He was gone.
