“That’s cold, Nate. Even for you.”
I take a turn. Check my mirrors. Focus on the road.
“It’s necessary.”
“Is it?”
“If I call her Cara, I start forgetting why I’m supposed to be angry.” I stop at a stop sign. Look both ways. Pull forward. “I’m not doing that.”
“It’s been ten years, Nate. Maybe?—”
“She left once. She’ll leave again.” I pull into the parking lot of Millie’s. Kill the engine. “End of story.”
He doesn’t argue. Just nods once.
“Fair enough,” he says finally. “Lunch?”
“Yeah.”
We get out. Go inside. Slide into our usual booth. Millie comes over without asking, already writing down our orders.
“Two burgers, extra pickles on his, no onions on yours, and two coffees.” She looks up with those kind eyes. “That right?”
“That’s right,” Liam says.
“You boys are too predictable.” She tucks the notepad away, but she’s smiling. “Food’ll be up in ten.”
She starts to turn, then pauses. Looks at me a beat too long.
“You doing okay, honey? You look like you’ve had a day.”
“I’m fine, Millie.”
“Mmhm.” She doesn’t push, but I can tell she’s already heard. Everyone’s heard. “Well, you know where to find me if you need anything.”
She heads off to put in our order. Liam waits until she’s gone to look at me.
“That woman knows everything that happens in this town.”
“Everyone knows everything in this town.” I stare out the window. “That’s the problem.”
The food comes. I eat my burger without tasting it, staring out the window at the snow.
She’s out there somewhere. In this town. Maybe still at the bakery. Maybe walking down Main Street. Maybe back at Eileen’s, telling her grandmother what an ass I was.
I don’t care.
I don’t.
The house isdark when I get home.
Theo’s truck isn’t in the driveway. Lucas’s car is gone too. Good. I’m not in the mood for company. Not in the mood to explain why I’m in a worse mood than usual. Not in the mood to see the questions in their eyes.
I let myself in. Toss my keys on the table by the door. Stand there in the dark for a moment, just breathing.
The house still smells like the three of us. Pine from Theo’s landscaping stuff. The clean, clinical scent Lucas brings home from the clinic. And underneath it, the faded ghost of something sweeter. Something that hasn’t been here in ten years.
I’m imagining it. I know I’m imagining it. She was never in this house. We moved here after.
