I step aside so he can taste the sauce and decide what he wants to add. He’s particular when it comes to cooking. “You are a poet, I’ll give you that.” He beams, adding more salt, then some smoked paprika. I rest my elbows on the counter and cradle my chin in my hands while I watch him work. “Ever accidentally use the same poem on different girls?”
His silence is dripping with guilt.
The smile on my face spreads ear to ear. “You rascal.”
“Only got busted once. I didn’t know they knew each other.” He raises his eyebrows. “Now, let’s get back to your bad taste in men. All I’m sayin’ is, Logan seems like a better match for you.”
I groan. He’s only saying that because Jason doesn’t have tattoos.
Logan and I are tattoo artists, it’s different. “Yeah, well, Logan doesn’t date.”
“Oh, like hell,” he croaks, popping the lid on a jar of cayenne.
“I’m serious! And it’s a shame because he could probably have his pick of anyone he wanted.”
Once he finishes fine-tuning the soup with spices, I take over stirring again, and he shuffles back to the cutting board, selecting a serrated knife and the fresh loaf of sourdough he baked earlier.
“Including you?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “When Logan and I first met, I was sixteen and he was twenty-two. I had an instant crush on him. Because of course I did, have you seen him?”
“Girl.”
I chuckle at his imitation of one of my girlfriends. “We worked together in the evenings. I helped out in the shop after school, cleaning and taking care of whatever tasks Dad assigned me to. He was the apprentice, so we were in the same boat.” Ismile at the memory. “Let me tell you, Herb, for two years, I basically lived in that shop.”
“Oh, I heard all about that. Clyde said you followed him around like a little puppy dog. Said your crush was about as?—”
“Subtle as a shotgun,” we say in unison.
I grin. “Anyway, before I left for college, I got up the nerve to ask Logan if he would ever see me as anything other than a friend.”
“What did he say?”
“He laughed at me, saying I was far too young for him and that while he was flattered, he simply wasn’t attracted to me in that way. I was like his kid sister. I played it off as a joke, but my teenage heart was crushed. Oof, that one stung.” Knowing Logan the way I do now, I should have seen it coming.
He saws through the crust of the sourdough loaf. “What about the next time you asked him?”
Huh?I cock my head to the side. “What do you mean? I didn’t ask him again.”
Herb releases a frustrated sigh. “Then how do you know he’s not interested?”
“Because he already said no,” I repeat.
“Well, of course he said no! You were still a kid!”
Laughing, I reply, “Trust me, he’s not interested. We literally joke about my silly teenage declaration. I’m not opening that door again. It’s not worth it. Besides, I never see him with other women.”
While I was in New York, the distance withered my feelings toward him, but if I’m being honest with myself, they neverfullyvanished. However, I’ve worked hard over the years to curb any . . .temptationI’ve felt toward him.
“You’re being foolish.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s say for argument’s sake I did want something more than friendship with Logan. What happens ifhe saysI’m still not interested in you, huh? He owns Black Rabbit, Herb! It’s not like I’ll ever walk away from Dad’s shop. There would be an uncomfortable awkwardness lingering over us forever. I can blame the first time on puppy love; if I get rejected twice, then shit gets weird. It would not only ruin our work relationship, it would destroy our friendship.”
“And what if he saidGee, Kelly, I think you’re a real swell gal and would love to go out with you?”
“It would still be weird. Business and pleasure don’t mix. It could end disastrously. What happens when we break up? Again, I’m stuck working in Dad’s shop, with my ex as my boss? Forget it. Someday I want to own Black Rabbit. It’s not worth jeopardizing that. Sure, there will probably always be a small part of me that wonders what could have been, but we’ll only ever be friends, and I’m fine with that . . . Besides, I have Jason!” I shake my head.What the fuck have I even been doing considering all these hypotheticals when I have a boyfriend?
“So you’re just going to remain friends and wonder what could have been? For the rest of your life?”
