“A shrug? Your apology for actingabsolutely insaneis a fuckingshrug? You don’t even sound remorseful!”
I chuckle with a knitted brow. “What part of that sounded like an apology to you?” My mouth curves up in a smirk, and I shake my head. “I’m not sorry.”
She gapes at me. Damn, she isbigmad. “You!” Her voice is almost guttural, cartoonish; despite it all, my amusement is at an all-time high. I roll my lips together to keep from laughing.
Her eyes shoot daggers at me as she sweeps her arm to the side, pointing to the door. “Get out.”
Odin hears “out” and hurries to the door.She’s not talking to you, dude.
“No, thanks.” I sigh and flop down on the sofa, threading my fingers behind my head. “I think I’ll stay.”
“Get the fuck out of my house.” She takes a deep breath. “Now.”
I kick my feet up on the coffee table. “I’m not leaving.”
“Fine! Then I’ll call the police,” she says, whipping out her phone.
“Call them. I’m your husband. I live here. They aren’t going to kick me out just because you’re suddenly having buyer’s remorse.”
She spins in a circle as if something around here is going to help any of this make sense. Now it’s her time to spiral. Poor thing.
Odin trots back into the room and jumps on the sofa with me. “Have you been letting him on the couch? I thought we decided on no furniture?”
“This is outrageous,” she mutters to herself.
“Look, you can be mad all you want, but I am your husband and it’s my job to keep you safe.” I scratch Odin behind the ears while her sanity circles the drain.
Her arms fall at her sides, and then she raises the phone again. “I’m still gonna call the police and report what you did! I never signed any papers agreeing to this.”
My arms stretch out across the back of the couch, and Odin rests his head in my lap. “You really wanna send Thor back to prison?”
She unlocks the screen. “What does Thor have to do with any of this?”
“He’s your proxy, sweetheart. What do you think happens to felons who are involved in falsifying government documents?”
She gapes at me. “How could you put him at risk like that?”
“Hey, I’m not putting him at risk.” I hold up my hands. “You are.”
The phone clatters to the floor.Crisis averted.
“How dare you put this on me! You know what, fuck this.” She jabs a finger in my direction. “And fuck you too. If you won’t leave, then I will. Come on, Odie.”
Odin bounds off the sofa as she storms past me. I leap off the couch and cross the room in three giant strides to snatch her keys off the wall before she can reach them.
“Goddamn it. Give me those!”
The way her hands ball into fists at her sides makes me bark out a laugh. Does she really think she’s in control right now?
She holds an open palm in front of me. “Please, Logan?”
Nice try.
“‘Please’ isn’t going to work this time, babe. I made you a married woman without your permission. Do you think holding you here against your will is that difficult? Come on.”
Her eyes well with tears. “Logan, how could you?”
She’s faking. She’s not sad, she just happens to cry when she’s really pissed off, and now she’s trying to use that trait to her advantage. “Cute crocodile tears.”
