10
“You, uh, packed a lot,” Chase said, minutes after they’d arrived inside the house surrounded by forest and lake. He glanced at his single duffle bag, dwarfed between Larke’s two travel bags. He’d never gone away with a girl before, so he’d kept his mouth shut as he’d placed her bags in the backseat of his truck. Chase figured it must be normal. But damn, she’d even brought along a backpack that was bulging at the sides.
“I know it seems like a bit much.” She studied her hands. “I like being prepared. That’s all.”
“Prepared for what, Larke? There’s not much out here, except the woods and that big lake outside the window.” Chase stared at her in confusion. She wasn’t nuts. Not like some of the guys back at Lee’s Fortress. Preppers––some real crazy sons of bitches, who’d started preparing by stockpiling all sorts of things for the race war that Chase now realized had always been a pipe dream. This was also the same war that was supposed to happen after the number of white supremacists grew strong enough for them to take control of the government and enact laws that would once and for all put all blacks and non-whites in their place.
Larke shrugged, still not quite meeting his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t like worrying that I don’t have something I need when I’m away from home.”
“So it’s not just clothes and shoes you have in there? The usual female stuff.” He watched her closely. She was nibbling her lower lip now, looking nervous. Trapped.
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in what I brought along.”
“I’m not,” he answered. “I was teasing you before, But not anymore. Now I really wanna know what’s going on.” He cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. This had to be what she’d meant about having her own issues. “You think something bad’s gonna happen to you if you’re not somewhere familiar? Is that why you need to be prepared?”
She peered at him and nodded slowly. Chase closed his eyes then opened them on a low sigh. Damn. He’d hit the nail on the head despite praying he would miss. “Something bad like having to sleep out in the cold.”Because of me.
“Oh, Chase. I feel so stupid. I’m not crippled by it, but I really dislike going anywhere new if I don’t have certain things with me. Things that I might need. After we were rescued and I went home, I thought I was doing fine. I mean we were okay, no injuries. I’m not sure when exactly this began or what triggered this fear, but one day it hit me. I’d made one little mistake, got lost and could’ve died. I became terrified, completely scared to go anywhere new. My mom had to rearrange her shift and make arrangements for me to get home from school if she couldn’t pick me up.”
“How did you manage?” Guilt made it hard to speak.
“I stayed inside a lot. I never made many friends. The other kids thought I was weird.” She lowered her lashes. “And well, I was fat, which didn’t make things easier.” Heaving a sigh, she continued, “Things changed as I got older. I wanted so much to do everything the other kids were doing. You know, school trips and hanging out. I later figured out that maybe all I needed was to be prepared for anything bad that was coming my way. I started bringing little things that might be helpful if I ever found myself in a sticky situation, in unfamiliar territory. It made me feel in control. Not so afraid.” She issued him a weak smile. “I know all of this sounds really crazy. But it’s the only weird thing about me. I promise.”
“So that backpack over there is filled with survival gear?”
Larke bit her lip and nodded. “A low key, low budget version. Some basic items. Backup battery for my phone, first aid kit.” Her lips thinned into another weak smile. “No candy, but I do have a couple of protein bars and a small blanket.” The smile faded once again as she lowered her head. “I’m working on this too. I really don’t want to always be scared. I don’t like the feeling of anticipating the worst.”
And with those words, Chase felt like absolute shit. It was bad enough she’d had to deal with what he’d put her through that evening in the woods, but to spend so many years afterward, being afraid... He drew in a breath and brought a hand to his mouth. He was sicker than he’d ever imagined.
He eyed her again then shifted his gaze to the bag. “You mind if I peek inside?”
“Go ahead.” She knelt in front of the backpack while Chase crouched, slowly opening it. There was a flashlight inside, medical and antiseptic creams, a pocket knife, a thin rolled up blanket, a bunch of protein bars and four bottles of water.
Chase zipped the bag and turned to her. He’d seen enough. His gut clenched to see Larke peering at him with worry as if he had a right to judge her. He didn’t. “That’s a lot of stuff for one person,” he pointed out.
“I know. I’m strange. I already told you.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off her. “There’s nothing strange about you, Larke. Except you being with me––which works to my advantage,” he added with a grin, hoping to make her smile. She did. Even pressed her face into his neck. He held her there, enjoying the feel of her soft body against his and the delicious scent of her skin. Chase cradled the back of her head, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You packed for both of us, didn’t you, angel?”
She sank a tooth into her lip and nodded. His hand at the back of her head stilled. It felt as if someone had suctioned all the air from the living room. Or maybe just from his lungs; because breathing suddenly became one of his hardest tasks. On the floor and staring into her dark glossy eyes, Chase thought about everything she’d said. Everything he’d done to mess up her thinking when it came to new surroundings. And yet, in Larke’s wacky way of planning, she’d stillincluded his no-good ass.
Invisible strings tugged at his heart, pushing him mentally and physically closer to her. She leaned over with her hands planted on the floor. Her lips parted, welcoming his tongue against her own. His cock hardened and his balls felt as if they weighed a ton, heavy with cum.
God. Chase closed his palm over her breast, kneading and caressing. One move and he knew he could have her on her back, right here on the hard living room floor. But would she let him in?
Control.He struggled with it and was relieved when Larke used her own, taking the reins by tearing her lips from his. She moaned softly, her breathing shallow as she gazed up at him with big brown eyes.
“There’s no going back is there?”
He swallowed hard. “None at all.”
They both stood, uncaring that they’d barely made it into the living room without touching each other. “I told you before that I’d never physically been with anyone before,” Larke said, “But it’s more than that. I’ve never had an actual relationship either. This is my first and I’m actually very happy it’s with you. Sometimes I’ve even wondered if we were meant to meet up again.” She smiled shyly. “Whenever I think about you or being your girl, I get these butterflies that flutter like crazy inside my stomach.” Her smile widened as she let out a quiet laugh. “Which is agoodthing. Not a sign of my craziness.”
She cleared her throat and her voice went low as she peered up at him. “Anyway, since you now know almost everything about me. That you’re the only man in my life, how can I be sure there’s not some blue-eyed, blonde ‘Aryan’ dream girl, waiting for you to get back home?”
The question stung. But it was fair. Just like how it was also fair that those damn butterflies she’d mentioned had now found their way inside his stomach as well. “There’s no one,” Chase answered. “I swear it. That girl you described isn’t the type of girl I want. Not anymore. I’m one man, Larke. I only need one woman at my side and that’s you. I want you more than any other female I’ve ever met. I’m no virgin, but I can tell you I’ve never had a girl of my own before. So yeah, I guess we have that in common. You’re my first girlfriend.”
Her eyes widened then a bright smile broke out on her face. “Honestly?”
