“Have you ever thought about leaving? I mean, turning your...” Larke stopped in mid-sentence at the expression on his face. The one telling her she was pushing a subject he didn’t want or wasn’t ready to confront.
“We’re on the wrong topic.”
“Then what topicdoyou want to discuss?”
He eyes glinted like shards of ice. Warning. A tense second passed before he said, “I wanted you to know that I’m going up to Lake Walnut for a couple of days.”
A couple of days without seeing him. She tried not to feel sad. After all, hewasabout to get angry with her just a minute ago. “Are you going alone?”
“Depends.” He shifted on the bench, lowered his gaze then leveled up to face her.
Larke frowned. She recognized that look. Chase was nervous. But why? “What does it depend on?”
“Depends on if you wanna come with me or not. It’s a small house I have up there. It ain’t fancy. Real clean, though. Has two bedrooms, so you wouldn’t have to worry about sharing a room with me. If you like this park, you’ll love the woods and lakes they have up there.” He lifted a shoulder. “But if you’re not into that sort of thing, it’s cool. I’ll understand.”
“I’m into that sort of thing,” she said, sweeping her fingers across his.
Chase’s lips thinned into a faint smile as the traces of nervousness vanished. Once again, he appeared to be in control. Or rather, a man trying his best to appear in control. He nodded. “Okay. That’s good. How much time do you need to be ready?”
She gaped. “You want to leave today?”
“Yeah, is that a problem?”
Not really, except I don’t make a habit of running off with a guy on short notice.Larke groaned inside her head. What was she saying? They’d slept in the same bed last night! “No,” she answered, “it’s not a problem. I want to go, but I have my first book reading at a library coming up. If you promise to get me home by Tuesday afternoon, then I’ll say yes.”
“I’ll have you back by then.”
She nodded, biting back a smile at his immediate reassurance. “If you give me an hour I can be packed and ready. Is it chilly up there? Do I need a sweater or three?”
He stared at her then laughed. The sound was a delicious rumble that made her stomach do a backflip. “Larke, don’t tell me you bring sweaters wherever you go? Even in the middle of summer.”
She poked him in the arm. “You laugh now, but it was my sweater that kept both our butts from freezing.”
He shook his head, the smile still in place. “I never did thank you for that, did I? Sharing your sweater and candy with me.”
“You planned on thanking me?” She sucked in an exaggerated breath of shock and flattened her hand to her chest. “And to think all these years I’d assumed you not using that knife on me was your way of saying thanks.”
His smiled faded. “Did you really think that?”
“No,” Larke said. “But sometimes I think about that day. What would’ve happened if we hadn’t fallen inside the sinkhole. You had a pretty good hold on my shirt. I was very scared and didn’t understand why you were after me. I hadn’t done anything to you.”
“I know,” he whispered, so low she could barely hear him. “I know you hadn’t done anything to me.”
Larke recognized the meaning of the way his shoulders bunched. Guilt. She grabbed a hold of that emotion and decided to use it as a way to peek inside his mind. If Chase felt guilt for his treatment of her, then perhaps he had remorse and this, in turn, could lead him to reevaluate his racist views.
“Do you think you would’ve hurt me? Looking back, would you have used that knife on me? You were so young. Did you really have it inside of you to do that?”
He slanted his head to the side. Larke could see a muscle in his jaw tick. “What is this–you trying to psychoanalyze me?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. You can psychoanalyze me later. I’m not perfect. I have issues too. All I want is for you to look me in the eyes and tell me if you could’ve killed me because of my skin color.”
He glared at her, his eyes murky like a storm cloud. “This ain’t my answer; but what happens if I say yes? I feel like you’re trying to mess with me, fuck with my head to get back at me for…” He closed his mouth and shook his head. Seconds passed before he let out a loud breath of anger and frustration. Her heart twisted, realizing he had alotof frustration. It was always there, despite his ensuing words of, “Nothing. Just nothing.”
She touched his arm while peering up at him. “I want to know what’s going on in your head. It’s nevernothing. Why do you think I’d want to get back at you? I don’t. It’s been too many years. And what would I get back at you for, Chase? For being what you are? For being you?”
He nodded ever so slowly, looking her dead in the eyes. “For being me. Definitely for being me.”
“I’d never treat you like that.”
