“I don’t want you to ever feel shame for what you had no control over. I don’t want you to be ashamed, or blame yourself, for a single damn thing that happened when you were taken. That was allthem,not you.”
“But it was me,” I said in a small voice. “It was my body.”
“Your body under their control,” he said, so gently. “It wasn’t your choice, angel. None of it was your choice, so you can’t shoulder any of the blame.” He kissed the bridge of my nose. “I won’t let you.”
I had to swallow twice, a lump filling my throat. “I’m sorry I remembered them when I should have been focused on you, on us. I wish I could erase it from my memory. I wish I could burn it out.”
His hand splayed over the small of my back, another kiss finding my brow this time, then my forehead. “I wish I could go back in time and make sure none of it ever happened. Let’s go inside, angel.”
“No,” I breathed, pulling back to lock eyes with him. “No. I’m not ready to go inside. I don’t want this to end. Even with my memories, I want to stay here with you.” He was about to argue, so I leaned close and kissed him. “I want to try again.”
“Angel…”
His cock had softened and now laid between us, but I wrapped my hand around it and stroked slowly. “It’s very mean of you to try and deprive me of this cock. My mate’s cock.”
He groaned, his head thrown back. “Fuck, call me that again.”
I kissed his jaw, shaking off the cobwebs of that memory and grounding myself right here. “My mate. My perfect mate.”
“Oh, perfect am I?” His eyes lightened, a little glitter returning to them. “Not vain, arrogant, and a piss poor decorator?”
“Those are just features.” I ran my thumb over the slit of his cock and greedily watched him tense, his mouth parted on quick breaths. “Everyone needs features.”
His laugh was like another ray of sunlight on my soul, and I sank into its warmth, my body once again liquid, my core pulsating. “Slowly,” he said with a thread of steely command asI lined up his cock with my entrance again, careful as I took him inside.
“Keep your hands on me,” I begged.
“Nothing could make me let go,” he replied, a little raggedly as I began to move, rolling my hips in slow, tentative circles.
“I want us to come together,” I said, returning to his mouth for more kisses, drowning my senses in the taste of him. “I need you to come with me this time.”
He nodded, frantic as I worked him deeper than before, so far inside me that I felt him scour out the memory of everyone who’d been before, at least for today. Those memories stayed in the past where they belonged, and I lost my breath, pleasure filling my whole body with heat and clenching need. He never once took his hands off me, and we crashed over the edge together, his soul wrapped tight around mine.
14
JESSIA
“I’m glad you’re my mate, Devil,” I told him after our first time in the garden, letting his scent settle in my lungs.
“And I’m fucking honoured you’re mine, angel,” he’d replied.
I remembered the words now, and felt the same giddy thrill I did months ago. We’d had so many dates since then that I’d lost count, and they were all as special and romantic as the first. Sometimes he planned them, sometimes I did, but they usually always ended in hot kisses, impatient hands, and the slow slide of him inside me, burning away all other thoughts.
Dates weren’t the only things I’d gotten. Pierce sent more messages—three, one for each month since Pewter was killed. I’d been waiting in nervous anticipation for the message this month. They were always the same, with thinly veiled threats, Pierce throwing his weight around and playing mind games for power.
The first month he sent an anniversary card, the second month a postcard of Vienna where we went on honeymoon, and the third was a sick invitation to a vow renewal. As if I’d go anywhere near him when I had my mate. Devil was ten times the man Pierce had ever been. His rage and violence was reserved for abusers who deserved it.
“Ugh,” Lynn grunted. “The sappy smile on your face makes me want to punch you in the tit.”
“Hey.” My smile became a scowl. “I’ve seen you smiling too when Cobra’s around.”
She rolled her eyes. “Those are smirks; it’s a different matter.”
“Nope.” I knocked my shoulder into hers as we walked down the clubhouse hallway towards the kitchen to steal our friend from her man. Sweetie had been monopolising too much of ChaCha’s time, and she was ours today. She just didn’t know it yet. “I’ve seen you with a sappy smile on your face. Like that time Cobra marched into the sanctuary to bring you food.”
“I wasn’t smiling at him. That smile was for the food.”
“Mhm. Sure.The food.”
