I shook my head. Swallowed, and found my mouth completely dry.
“We’re going home now. Guard’s gonna drive you in the van, okay?”
I opened my mouth, but what would I say?I don’t want to leave your side. For a reason I can’t quite figure out, I feel safe right now, and the thought of leaving you makes me want to rip out my hair?I’d rather ride the back of Devil’s bike, with the wind ripping at me, cutting down to my bones.
“What is it?” Devil asked, taking a step closer until my lungs filled with the scent of salt and wide, open seas. “You can tell me anything, Jessia, remember.”
I couldn’t put the feeling into words, so instead I asked, “Dreamer—is he okay? When we were taken from the shop, he… I saw…”
Devil glanced away, stared at the dingy wall with his jaw clenched. I watched him wrestle with the rage inside him. Watched him smother it.
“He’s gone,” I rasped, freeing him of the need to speak the truth aloud, my heart tight with pain. I hated this softheart sometimes. Had felt it a gift for all these months at the compound, to be able to soothe troubled souls, to help the Knights cast off their stress and demons even for a night. Now I hated it, resented it,loathedevery bit of softness in me. It hadn’t saved me this time. It hadn’t stopped the monsters who kidnapped us.
“I’m sorry, angel,” Devil breathed, dragging a hand through his blond hair. It looked like pure gold in the dim lighting, but I’d seen it look like a halo in direct sunlight, like he really was a fallen angel.
I pressed my lips together to trap a cry at the confirmation Dreamer was really gone, at the image that had only grown in clarity over the last few days.
Dreamer, loyal Knight and protective alpha, bleeding from a gash in his neck, discarded on the floor as if he meant nothing. But he meant something to me. They all meant something to me—all the men I’d soothed, all the men who’d helped me reclaim my power even if they’d never know it. He’d given his life to keep us safe. Tears made my eyes burn, but I was so dehydrated they never flowed free.
“Was anyone else—?” I asked, my voice a choked, ruined thing.
“No,” Devil answered quickly, his arms coming up as if he’d hug me before he thought better of it. I wished he’d enclose me in his hold, wanted the warmth and comfort, wanted to settle back into my body instead of feeling like a ghost possessing myself. Instead, I shrank into myself, curling my fingers in the shirt he’d given me. No one else had been killed, though. Everyone else was alive. But Lynn was hurt. ChaCha was hurt. I was a ghost.
And Dreamer was dead.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
“Let’s get you home,” Devil said with aching softness, his eyes no longer murderous, instead deep, endless pools of sorrow.
“Not without ChaCha and Lynn.” I turned on throbbing legs and took a step towards where ChaCha and Sweetie huddled, arms wrapped around each other. Before I could take a step, a flash of pain went through my insides, violent bruises stabbing my thighs, my stomach, even my ankles. I hissed, going still.
“Let me carry you.” Devil’s hands twitched but he only reached for me when I nodded permission.
I clenched my jaw when the movement jostled every blinding, burning pain, but when I was in Devil’s arms, when I buried my face in his chest, the scent of him made it easier to bear the pain. If it hurt this badly to be carried, I didn’t want to imagine the agony of walking.
“Giant’s upstairs, angel.” Devil moved with careful effort as I panted through the pain, barely jostling me as he ascended the dark stairs. “He’s got painkillers. You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”
“I don’t think you can promise that.” My body would heal, and medicine could muffle my pain, but the scent of this place had embedded itself in my senses, and even seeing the dead body of one of the monsters, even knowing the Knights would have killed the rest, I knew they’d follow me back to the compound.
They lived inside my head now.
2
DEVIL
It worried me how quiet Jessia had been, barely speaking through her treatment last night. The strained smiles I saw her hand out this morning downright terrified me.
I stood outside the sanctuary like a creep, my body angled out of sight but with enough of a view through the planes of glass in the door that I could glimpse the kitchen and dining area.
No one knew Jessia was my mate, so I couldn’t exactly storm into their safe space and ask to see her. I wouldn’t, even if people knew. Not after the last few days; ChaCha, Lynn, and my angel needed the sanctuary free of alphas. Free of all men, all designations, if I was being honest. I didn’t know details of what they’d endured, but I didn’t need them. The scents in that basement told me enough, and the tentative way Jessia moved filled in the blanks.
I scanned the kitchen again, watching closely as ChaCha spoke to Jessia. “Oh, angel,” I sighed when she tried so hard tosmile, as if everything was alright, and her body and peace of mind hadn’t both been assaulted. I wanted my arms wrapped around her again, wanted to feel the press of her head on my chest and the reassurance of her weight against me.
I searched the kitchen again, angling myself so I could see into the living room area. No Lynn. Where was she? With Cobra was the obvious answer, but that didn’t kill my worry. Lynn and I had been friends since she got to the compound, and the thought of her in that pub basement, the clear visual of what she’d been through, made me as murderous as Jessia’s assault.
It burned like a brand that one of the pieces of shit had got free before we could end him, but we’d find him. And he’d better hope Tybalt found him. Because if Cobra, Sweetie, and I got our hands on him, we’d make his suffering last for a decade. I’d been interested to try out Tyb’s new blowtorch. I wondered how long it would take to make his eyeballs pop.
I jumped when door hinges squeaked, unable to hide before Jessia peered around the door and met my eyes.
