“How can I change if I don’t know what I’m doing wrong?”
“Sam. I know you’re a good person, just trying to find your way ... but so are the rest of us. It’s not like your being divorced in your twenties is worse than someone else’s problems; it’s just different. But sometimes it feels like you don’t really get that.”
I swallowed hard, processing Emilie’s honesty. My face burned.
“Well, this is really embarrassing. It’s not the way anyone wants to see themselves. You’ve gotten me through some pretty dark times. I wish you could say the same about me.”
She smiled sadly. “Now’s your time to shine, babe.”
I went to sit next to her on the bed, wrapping my arm around her bony shoulder. “I’m here now. I’ve been here since last night.”
She planted a kiss on my cheek. “I think a bagel would be a great place to start. And the biggest iced coffee they have.”
I shot up. “On it.”
I threw on my clothes from last night, then grabbed the key Stephen left by the door and ran to the corner deli on Fifth. I tucked the bag of bagels under my arm and balanced the coffee tray in my right hand, setting everything down on the floor to open Emilie’s door.
She stared at my wrist. “Oh, Jesus. You really need to spill how that happened,” she said dryly.
“Nope. Today’s about you.”
“Honestly, right now I’m just so sick of myself. I regret telling you to stop being so self-absorbed. Wait until tomorrow to fix yourself.”
“I can work from here this morning. Keep you company.”
“Have you been typing with one hand?”
“Yes. It sucks balls.”
She grabbed her phone and texted me the contact for Jane Acupuncture Gramercy.
“See if she can fit you in today. She’s an actual miracle worker. You’ll feel better after one session. I go to her for everything. Like, even if I’m just super sore after Pilates.”
“I always saw you more as a pill person. I figured you’d be pushing an old Vicodin stash on me.”
She looked confused. “Shit—did I take a Valium last night?”
“You told Stephen you did.”
“Ugh. I do not want to know.”
I gave her a sympathetic pat. “This too shall pass.”
She huffed. “If I’m not sacked first.”
I dialed Jane Acupuncture Gramercy. Her first opening wasn’t until Saturday morning.
“Bummer,” Emilie said when I hung up.
“I’ve been living with it since early Saturday. I can hang on a few more days.”
“What thefuckwere you doing? I demand to know.”
I caved and told her the whole story.
“Oh my god. Are you freakishly strong? I never would have guessed,” she said between fits of laughter.
“Just a drunk idiot.”
