Charlie quickly hailed a cab outside Cipriani’s. “Moore and Greenwich Street?”
The driver shot up the West Side Highway, making such impressive time that before I knew it, we were being dropped off at Smith & Mills, an unassuming bar in an old carriage house across from the Greenwich Hotel.
We found two corner seats, and Charlie ordered a Montauk Ale.
“I think I just need a second,” I said to the bartender, who nodded and went to get Charlie’s beer while I looked over the cocktail list, trying to decipher ingredients that might as well have been written in French.
“Do you think they can just do a vodka soda?” I asked.
Charlie leaned over the bar. “A Ketel and soda, please.”
I feigned offense. “I can order my own drink, you know.”
He looked genuinely embarrassed.
“Hey,” I said, lightly punching his shoulder. “I’m like two months into swimming in a man’s world. I have to joke about this stuff when I can.”
He peeled off the label of the beer.
“Was tonight everything you never expected when you imagined yourself at an outrageous charitable event?”
I reached for the vodka soda.
“I think I have one of those in me for every billable quarter.”
He laughed. “At least you’re picking up the nerdy lawyer jokes.”
I toasted my tumbler against his beer bottle. “Fake it till you make it?”
“Exactly.” He folded and refolded the beer label. “So, I wasn’t planning to bring this up—at least, I wasn’t sure if I was going to ... but I went for beers with some of the guys from your summer class, and they mentioned you were married when you interned at the firm last summer. But you never mentioned it, and I didn’t want to be nosy. But I mean, we basically spend all our time together, and I guess atthe end of the day I’m just a tipsy, nosy schmuck,” he said, looking embarrassed again.
I felt myself sit up straighter. It wasn’t that I’d intentionally kept Ben from Charlie—I just figured it would come up at some point. At least now that it had, I could blame the unlimited wine and a vodka soda for pretending I wasn’t as self-conscious about it as I was.
I told Charlie about meeting Ben in college, then getting married soon after I graduated. Deciding to go to law school. Long days of class and long nights of studying and making lunches and dinners in between. Interning in New York. Growing apart. Wanting more from life.
“Law school changed me so much. Sometimes I didn’t even recognize myself. I couldfeelmyself evolving past our life together, and as much as I tried to ignore it at first, I was just so unhappy. When I told him I was leaving, I thought he knew it was coming. But he didn’t. At least, he said he didn’t. He expected me to finish school and go back to the life we had before. But everything had changed.”
Charlie leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. He didn’t say anything right away.
“You’re a cool girl. I’m sure it sucked for him to lose you. But at the end of the day, you deserve to do what makes you happy, and he deserves to be with someone who’s happy with him. He’ll find his person. You can’t feel bad for outgrowing someone. Now that you’re here, just give it everything you’ve got, and make it worth the growing pains.”
I nodded, a quiet sense of relief loosening in my chest. “I’m actually glad you asked.”
“Tough having secrets when you share an office.”
I looked down at my watch. “And—we have to be at work in about seven hours,” I said, mentally calculating the glasses of water I needed to drink before I let myself fall asleep so I wouldn’t wake up a total zombie.
“Yeah, we should head out. But seriously—anytime you want to talk about stuff, I’m here. Literally, I’m here, twelve hours a day, five days a week, right next to you.”
“Forced proximity therapy. I’m very into the efficiency of that,” I said as I felt around to slip my feet back into my heels.
“I’ll walk you home and then hop in a cab,” Charlie offered.
I shook my head. “I should just get a cab. It’s a twenty-minute walk for me, and these heels aren’t going to make it.”
He hailed a cab and opened the door for me.
“Hey. I think your story is going to work out just the way you want it to. Whatever that is.” He smiled. “Thanks for a fun night.”
