“Excuseme,” I heard as someone impatiently passed by me.
“Sorry,” I muttered, absentmindedly leaning my shoulder against the window of Cafe Cluny. I swore I’d thrown earbuds in my bag earlier that week.
That’s when I saw him.
I stood there without moving, like the window was a one-way mirror, as if I was just as invisible as he was suddenly physicallythere, in my universe, back in the city. Having brunch down the street.
He was sitting with a woman. Her back was to the window, and all I could see was long brown hair and a red turtleneck sweater.
He was back in New York. He didn’t need to let me know, because I wasn’t in his life. Not in the way that he’d tell me when he was back in town. Not in any way.
I felt like someone had punched me.
I probably would have stood there forever, staring at his face, watching him sip coffee from a cappuccino cup with small red letters, spreading butter and too much jam on a croissant—if he hadn’t seen me. I could see his lips moving as the woman turned around and looked straight at me.
I realized it was Perry.
I don’t know what I expected either of them to do, but she suddenly began waving excitedly in my direction. I dropped the earbuds on the sidewalk and bent down to pick them up. When I stood up again, I could tell she was waving me into the restaurant.
I stiffened as I tried to figure out what to do.Maybe she’ll soften the blow of seeing each other for the first time.I didn’t have any idea if Perry even knew what had happened between us.
The doorknob jingled as I slowly opened the door.
“I’m just saying hello to some friends,” I said to the hostess as I walked toward them.
Perry jumped up, wrapping me in a hug before she was fully upright. “Sam! I can’t believe it. I convinced Charlie to meet me in the West Village, and he joked that we might run into you. And here you are!”
“It’s a small neighborhood,” I said nervously. “Hey, Charlie.”
“Hey, Sam,” he said coolly. His face gave nothing away.
Perry took a sip of coffee. “We’re celebrating his new job at the Urban Justice Center. Every time I say the name, I feel like a better person.”
I tried to look like my heart wasn’t pounding. “You’re finally doing it,” I said.
He nodded. “I couldn’t just keep putting in time. Life’s too short.”
Perry looked at her watch and jumped up. “I wasjustsaying how guilty I feel, because I’m supposed to meet the girls at Five Iron—you remember the golf girls, Sam—and Charlie can’t come because it’s ladies only. I’m already super late.”
She looked at him triumphantly. He shrugged and gave her a big brother smile.
“I’ll get this. Have fun. Maybe I’ll meet up with you guys later tonight.”
“You better.”
She grinned as she put on her coat, then looked directly at me. “We’ll be at Scallywag’s.”
He carefully folded his napkin as I floated hesitantly next to the table for what felt like minutes, unsure if I should stay or go.
He looked up at me. His eyes held mine as I watched them change colors. I held my breath for as long as I could stand it.
“I was gonna have one more cup of coffee. Do you want to sit down?” he finally asked.
“Yes.”
I let myself breathe out as I melted into the chair.
