I take a sip of beer, swallowing hard before grinning. “Probably a smart move.” Across from us, Parker and Hadley are completely unbothered, inhaling their hot as fuck pizza across their singed taste buds.
“So what are your plans for the Fourth?” Parker asks in between bites, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
I shrug non-committedly. “I’m not sure, but my bestie, Savannah,is coming up from Boston and staying with me for the weekend.”
“Oh, that’s cool,” Parker says. “Are your parents doing anything fun with you guys, or are you two just doing your own thing?” The bite of pizza suddenly feels like a rock going down. I know it isn’t Parker’s fault. We really don’t know each other, and it is an innocent question. Still, I reach for my drink, washing down the lump in my throat as I set the slice aside. He senses the shift, his eyes flicking between Hadley, Jasmine, and me. They all go quiet, patiently waiting for my reply. Not wanting to look at Parker, I glance out the window, placing my focus on nothing in particular.
“It’s just me,” I say quietly, then lift my eyes to meet Parker’s. “My parents, they…” I twist my hands together nervously, and Parker reaches out for me. His hand envelops mine. “They died a few months ago.” Jasmine lets out a soft gasp, while Hadley mutters a quiet curse under his breath. But Parker pulls me to him, his words silent for only me to hear.
“I’m sorry, Nadia. I didn’t know.” I draw back slightly to look at him. The sorrow in his eyes devastates me, and when I look around at his brother and Jasmine, I see the same sentiment mirrored in theirs.
“I know. It’s been an adjustment, but I’m doing better,” I say, offering a small smile. “Thank you for inviting me out with you guys. It means more to me than you will ever know.” Parker reaches across the table and gently takes my hand. Jasmine leans forward, grinning, and asks about planning a party.
Just like that, the heaviness lifts, and they cheer me up like I’ve known them for a lifetime. Sometimes people enter your life at the most unexpected times, and I believe they came into my life exactly when I needed them. Meeting Parker that day over ice cream was meant to be, and happened when I was at my lowest. When Savannah couldn’t be around, he has been there, and I can’t wait for them to meet my best friend. I think they will get along perfectly. We sit there enjoying our pizza, and the tension over telling them about my parents’ death is gone. It’s just pizza, beer, and the promise of friendship that is more than I can ask for. We make plans for the Fourth, and for the first time in a while, I have something to look forward to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The week passes by, and soon Savannah will be here to celebrate the Fourth of July with me. I told her about my new friends here, and she is eager to meet Parker, Jasmine, and Hadley. I spent time with them this weekend, balancing it along with my other job at the tavern.
As I pull up into the parking spot next to Manny’s company truck, I can’t help but wonder why he’s been distant, barely offering more than a quick hello and goodbye. When he gets home, he immediately excuses himself to shower. I tell him I’ll see him tomorrow as I let myself out, but he doesn’t even glance in my direction. It stings, and I can't help but wonder what I did or if maybe this is just his way of setting boundaries, of keeping things strictly professional. After all, I’m just hereto care for Catalina, nothing more than the nanny.
Yet, despite how logical it all seems, a part of me can’t help but feel the loss of something I thought was there. While I can understand him setting these boundaries, a part of me is disappointed. I still fantasize about him when I am alone. It isn’t Parker who comes into my mind when I close my eyes, but the all-consuming image of Manuel Torres.
I’m wiping down the counter in his kitchen when Catalina walks in with her little backpack. It has butterflies and wings outlined in sparkly glitter. She has her shoes on, and I watch her approach me, wondering what will come out of her little mouth. I don’t have to wait long.
“Ms. Nadia, can we go to the library today?” she asks, and I know she already has everything planned. I toss the rag into the sink and wash my hands, then dry them off with a sheet from the roll of paper towels. Throwing the trash away, I lean over the counter, watching her. I nod once, and the jump she does makes me wish I was that age and so…springy? I smile, matching hers.
“How about,” I lift my finger to my lip, touching it a few times, “we also have a picnic in the common area after the library? That way, we can read some of the books while we eat?” I shrug, and she squeals in delight at my plan. “Are you ready?” She puts her backpack on her shoulders and heads to the door. “Wait,” I tell her. “Let me pack a lunch for us.”
I noticed a little cooler that hangs on the hook and grab it. I open it and look inside, seeing it’s pretty clean. For good measure, I take a disinfectant wipe and clean the inside before placing a couple of sandwiches in it. I cut up some strawberries and grab a seltzer water for me and a juice box for Catalina. I add some napkins and a package of hand wipes before I zip it up, and we walk out to my car. Catalina slides into her car seat and buckles herself in. I start the car and watch her in the rearview mirror. “Are you all set, sweetie?” I ask and she smiles.
“Yes, Ms. Nadia. All buckled,” she replies proudly. I smile, pulling away from the house, steering toward the town’s public library. When we arrive, I take her small hand in mine as we walk to the quaint children’s section. I set my bag down on a tiny tableand begin pulling out chairs, the legs scraping softly against the floor as Catalina gazes around with eagerness.
“What are you thinking of getting?” I ask as I watch her pull out a few books from the nearest shelf on display, featuring a story about a couple of little raccoons on the front cover. I walk over and pick up the book. “Oh, I love this one. It’s great.” She smiles and places it on the table. I walk over to the one with a little pig and spider on it. “How about this one? I love this story, too.”
She glances at it and puts it down, frowning. “I can’t read it,” she says. I place my hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “I can help you with it.” She looks up to me, and uncertainty lines her expression.
“Will you read it to me?” she asks, hesitantly.
“Of course I will.” She twists her hand together, and I notice this is one of her nervous tics. It lets me know something makes her uncomfortable, so I proceed cautiously. “Do you not want me to read it to you, Catalina?” I ask her, wanting to know what has her so bothered. She looks up at me with her little blue eyes that have a slight sheen to them.
“My mommy always promised to read to me, but she was always asleep in the room, and my daddy said she was sick.” I look at her and bend my knees, dropping to her level. I don’t know how much she knows about her mother, and I don’t want to make her out to be a bad person. I don’t know her and what she went through, but I do know that I could never not be present for my kid. So I make her a promise that I intend to keep.
“I promise I will read it to you,” I tell her softly. “You can always wake me up if I fall asleep, but I won’t do that on the job, so I am guaranteed to read it to you. In fact, why don’t you get a couple more books? I can help you with your reading, and maybe by the end of the summer, you can read it to me,” I say enthusiastically.
Her face lights up, and her smile broadens, and I will make it my mission never to see this little girl sad as long as I am around. I know that Manny is a great dad with her, but she must miss her mom. I miss mine more than anything, and if I can help Catalina, I will without hesitation.
After carefully selecting books, we check them out with mylibrary card and walk out hand in hand. Catalina’s spirits have improved, and I gently steer the conversation away from her mother. I know the topic brings her sadness, but as much as I want to protect her from that pain, I also understand that sometimes she may need to talk about it. I want her to know that she can always talk to me about this or anything else.
We walk down the street to where I parked the car, and I pull out a blanket and a cooler from the sturdy plastic beach bag that I used to take on trips to the Cape. It’s tough, easy to clean, and perfect for picnics like this. We find the perfect spot to settle onto the grass while the sun warms our skin. I tilt my head up enjoying the rays as a light breeze blows my hair, bringing with it the smell of freshly mowed grass. Catalina eagerly opens one of her new books, plopping herself stomach-first onto the blanket. I grab the sunscreen out of the bag and stand up, beckoning Catalina upward with me.
“Okay, kiddo. Before you get too comfortable, come over here,” I tell her. “Cover your face.” She does, and I spray her arm and neck with sunscreen. I spray the part in her hair and her ears. Then I rub some on her face. After I am sure I have covered all areas, I do it myself. I hand her a wipe, and we disinfect our hands before taking the food out and grabbing our sandwiches. I put the cut-up strawberries between us and put the tiny straw in her juice box, squirting a little on my leg. She laughs as I hand it over to her. “There.” I take a napkin and bite into my sandwich, ham and cheese on rye.
Catalina hands me a book, and we start on the first chapter about an unlikely friendship between a pig and a spider. I see a shadow fall over us, and I didn’t even notice someone approaching as we were so wrapped up in our story that I startle when I hear the voice over my own. I stop mid-sentence, and Catalina jumps up.
“Daddy!” she screams, and he catches her in his arms.
