“What if he likes me because somehow I remind him of Emma? I mean, she is my twin.” I bite my lip. I hate the vulnerability in my voice. I look across the street at people walking by, taking in the ease with which they walk without a care in the world. I see a woman walking up to a man. He wraps her in a hug, kissing her, and grabs her hand possessively as they walk off. God, what I wouldn’t give to have that—to be the center of someone’s whole world.
“Evie, do you really believe that?” he asks with concern etched on his features.
“I don’t know, Mateo. I mean, no, not really, but he did have a thing for Emma, but she is with Eduardo now. What if I am just second best?” I immediately hate the words when they escape my mouth, but now that they are out there, my worst fears are voiced.
“No, Evie. You are nothing like Emma. You may share looks, but other than that, you are so very different from her. I see a strong woman in front of me. One that loves fiercely and protects what she loves at all costs.”
I smile. “Thanks, Mattie. That means a lot to me. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”
He shifts awkwardly in his chair but smiles at the compliment.
“Enough about me. Tell me about you. Any special lady in your life?”
He shakes his head. “Now? Nope, no one special.”
I shrug, deciding to pry further and invade his privacy. “So what do you do when you leave the house and come out here?”
He chuckles. “You promise not to laugh?” He shakes his head.
“Oh, boy. Now, I have to know. What do you do?” I repeat, almost bouncing in my seat with excitement, and I know that I am so going to enjoy this.
He begins but then stops mid-sentence, pondering his following words. “Fuck it.” He rubs his hand over his face. “I went for a walk to think, and I found this cafe by the water. I started having my coffee there and watching the ocean waves. It brings me a bit of peace, you know?”
I nod my head in acknowledgment because I totally understand how peaceful the waves can make you feel.
“I met this older man, he was playing chess alone. I would just sit and watch him play, then one day, he asked me if I wanted to join him.”
Wow, that wasn’t what I thought he would say at all. I look at my brother, shocked. “You’ve been playing chess with an old man in your spare time?”
He rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “I mean, I guess, yeah.” He snorts, almost embarrassed. “We talk about nothing and everything. His wife died, and he doesn’t talk to his son. I think he is just lonely.”
I nod in understanding.
“I mean, he is nice, and it quiets my mind.”
Silence falls between us. Looking over at my brother, my heart aches as I realize the depth of his loneliness. It's heart-wrenching to imagine how he must be feeling, especially after being abandoned by those who were supposed to be there forhim. He didn’t have a real family, despite my uncle and aunt raising him as best they could. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for him not to have parents wishing him a happy birthday. Looking back, I now realize how fortunate Emma and I were. I also know how he feels when he says that it quiets his mind. Isn’t that what I seek out, too?
“Is it fun?” I ask, wanting to know.
He laughs. “I mean, yeah. I enjoy it. I actually look forward to our time together. Is it weird to have a friend who could be your grandfather?”
I finish my drink. “Nope. Not at all. Hey, do you think maybe I could join you sometime?”
Surprise registers on his face. “Um. Yeah, sure. If you’d like to hang out with us, we meet once a week,” he responds shyly. He smiles and shifts his attention to the waitress coming over with a tray of tacos.
The smell hits me, and my mouth begins to water. I swear I can taste the crispy mahi-mahi from here. The conversation halts as the waitress lays out our food in front of us, and I moan at the first bite of my crispy meal. Mateo and I sit there in silence, devouring our weight in tacos.
Chapter Twelve
JAMESON
“Creep” by Radiohead
Iwake up the next day hoping that Eve will still be there, but as I go to touch the other side of my bed, I already know what I will find. My fingertips brush the cool sheets, and it’s obvious Eve has been gone for a while. I stretch out and swear I can still smell her on me. The spicy vanilla scent is the one I wish I could spray on my sheets so that every time I lay my head down, I can envision her being here with me.
I turn my head into the pillow her head rested on last night and inhale deeply, committing it to memory in case it’s the last time. I look up at the ceiling, not wanting to think about that but knowing very well that it’s a possibility.
As I get out of bed, I whip the covers off my body. I try to remove the crumpled bedsheet from my bed, but I find myself hesitating as I find myself transfixed on the empty space where I had Eve lying just a few hours earlier. I drop my head and realize how fucked I really am if I can’t strip my bed and rid myself of her scent just yet.
