Please, Liv, I need to see you.
I turn my AirPods back on, trying to drown out the memory of his voice in my head. Did he move on from us? Was there always a girl?
“Move on from us,” I repeat back to myself.
What am I thinking? We were never an “us.” Right? I can’t do this. I can’t get close to him again with what I know now. Besides, I can’t compete with that woman. I look at the text message again, playing over today’s events at Starbucks. He was never really mine. And I walked away from him that day in the hospital. With a sinking feeling in my stomach. I set him free and he’s gone. I make my way back to the apartment. As I stand under the shower, I wash the cold sweat off my body and the soon-to-be cold, distant memories of a man that I can’t seem to have.
ChapterTwelve
Dax
I runout the door and hold my breath as my eyes dart around, frantically looking for her. My eyes scan the people mingling on the sidewalk, and then I see her. She’s jogging away from me, her messy bun bouncing on top of her head and her air pods in place. I call her name as I start to race in her direction. No response. I shout louder, this time yelling her name in her direction. Her pace slows for a moment, and I think she may turn around, but before I can even grasp that bright idea, she picks her speed back up again.
I step off the curb to cross the street but a truck whizzes in front of me, making me jump back. By the time it passes, I manage to catch a glimpse of her. She then turns the corner and is out of sight.No. No. No.I lost her again. And for some reason, it hurts just as much as the first time. Is fate keeping us apart? Well, fuck that. It makes me even more determined to piss off the fates, go after her, and make her mine. It must be some primal caveman mindset, but nothing makes me want this woman more than seeing her repeatedly walk away from me. With no other option, I begrudgingly head back into Starbucks. Tatiana returned inside after I told her I’d be right there. By the look on her face, I know she saw everything—my surprise from seeing Liv and then my desperate attempt to chase her down. I’ve been avoiding this conversation with her. Although we’ve never claimed to be exclusive, I know she feels more for me than I do for her. She’s been a warm body to fuck and companion to pass the time. But she’s also a colleague which makes circumstances slightly more complicated. But I have no future with Tatiana. I know my future. And I just watched it run away from me.
Tatiana has my coffee in her hand, and I look down at it as she tries to hand it to me. When did I give her that to hold on to? After I saw Liv, everything became a blur. I take the drink from her hand, and she holds my stare.
“You want to tell me who that is?” She takes a sip from her skinny vanilla latte and patiently waits for my response.
I can hear thetap tap tapof her toe on the ground as her impatience builds. Not knowing what to say, I go for the truth.
“Her name is Liv. We met during spring break and when I went down to Padre Island with the guys.” I blurt it out and then stop, hoping it’ll be enough for her but knowing she’ll want more.
“O-k-a-y,” she draws out. “Why were you chasing her?” She looks at me as if she is trying to figure out a complex puzzle.
“I, um, have some unfinished business with her.”
Not a lie. But that is not exactly the entire truth, either. However, I’m not giving her any more. She seems to sense the end of the conversation and turns to walk away. Not knowing what else to do, I followed her out. We walk another block in silence to where our cars are parked, and she leans in for a kiss. I turn my head at the last second, and her lips land on my cheek. Her eyes find mine, and a mixture of confusion and irritation crosses her features. Without another word, she gets in her car, and I close the door waving goodbye as she drives off. As I walk to my car, I pull my phone out, hoping with everything in me that I’ll see a response from Liv.
“Goddammit!” I hit my car roof as I try to regain my composure. I don’t know why this girl has gotten under my skin, but I need her as I’ve never needed anything before. I want to know how she is and how school is going. I wonder how things are at work and if she’s settled in Houston. And most of all, I want to know why she never responds to my texts. Other than the confusing as fuck response that she is “always thinking of me.” What the fuck does that mean, and why does it have me completely pussy whipped.
I get in my car and decide to go home. I need to see the guys tonight and have enough beers that I forget the confusing situation I’m currently in. We’re meeting up at our favorite sports bar, where the food is decent and the music is loud. I actually have a day off, and I’m not on call until Sunday. I might as well at least try and have some fun. I go home and get into the shower. I shower quickly, not letting my mind drift to Liv. Although my cock doesn’t get the memo, and it’s standing at attention before I even know it’s happening. I blast the cold water and shiver my way through the rest of my shower. I shave quickly and throw on jeans and a T-shirt. I called an Uber, so I don’t have to worry about driving home since I plan to do minor liver damage tonight. I look at my text messages, and my heart jumps as I see a response from Liv. One word,Ok.Okay? Okay, what? What does that even mean? I close the message, not knowing how to respond, and I text Jameson instead to let him know I will be there soon. His response comes quickly.Sounds good, dude. Everyone’s here. We just ordered wings.
I step out of the Uber and make my way into the bar. The guys are all there sitting in our usual spot with beers and wings already being consumed quickly.
“Hey, man! Thought you’d never get here,” Jameson barks out over the loud noise of voices and music playing.
“Yeah, I got a little headfucked this afternoon right before getting home, so sorry I was late,” I called the waitress over and ordered a beer.
As soon as she leaves, Jameson picks the conversation right back up. “What? What head fuck? Is that code for Tatiana deep-throating your cock again?” Jameson laughs as he high-fives Theo sitting next to him.
“No, not exactly,” I say as the waitress hands me my drink.
She winks at me and walks away, swaying her ass as she goes. I stare at her as she walks away, thinking of that night in the ER when Liv walked away from me that same way. James catches me looking and snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Ha,” Jameson comments as he tilts his head at the waitress. “Simone is her name, and I do like me a redhead. Anyway, what happened? What were you saying about this head fuck?” He slams the rest of his beer down before settling back into his seat, waiting for my reply.
“Remember that girl, Liv, from the beach at Padre Island?”
Jameson’s eyes go wide at the mention of her name. “Wait a minute! Tell me you did not see her today?”
I just nod my head. “Oh yeah, I did. She literally ran away from me, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to her. Tatiana was there, and it was awkward as fuck.”
“Fuck me,” Jameson says.
“We were in Starbucks, and I saw her there. She just came out of nowhere. One minute I was waiting for my coffee, and the next, I had a staredown with Liv. We were so close that I wanted to reach out and touch her, but Tatiana came over and put her hand on my waist. It spooked Liv, and she grabbed her drink and ran out the door. I had barely said a few words to her before she was gone again.”
Jameson snorts, “Well, that girl keeps slipping away from you, doesn’t she?”
