“She didn’t tell you?”
“No,” she mutters. “Something I’m going to have to talk to her about.” She blows out a breath. “She’s been on them for a long time, so it’s not surprising that her body would kickstart her first heat. Shit. Fuck.” She starts to panic. “How is she doing?”
“Not good,” I whisper. “She’s afraid, and I don’t know what to do. She asked me to help her, and when I told her I couldn’t, she cried herself to sleep.” My stomach rolls at the thought.
“Why the fuck did you tell her no?” she demands. “You can’t tell me you haven’t been in love with that woman for years. I know you want to be with her, so why wouldn’t you help her in the most important time of need?”
“Because...” I raise my voice. “She was sinking into the haze. I wasn’t going to risk the chance of her saying it because of her urges and not because she means it.”
“Fuck,” she sighs. “I can’t be pissed at you for that. I respect you for it. Look, I can’t speak for my sister, but I can tell you that she likes you. A lot. I won’t go into details—that's for the two of you to discuss—but I can tell you she wants you more than a friend. My advice is, if she has a lucid moment, do your best toget everything out on the table and go from there. Going through a heat alone can fucking suck. I know you know. So if you can help her in any way to ease her through it, please do. If she tells you with a clear mind she wants you, help her.”
“Of course.” I swallow hard. “It’s not that I don’t want to help her, Silva, I do. I hate seeing her in pain. It fucking kills me. I just, fuck!” I pull at my hair.
I’m calling Silva because she’s the only who knows Lexi’s past when they were in foster care. Lexi was raped when she presented as an Omega by her foster brother, something that makes me hesitate now that she’s in heat. I don’t want to mess this up. I desperately need advice. Those monsters took what they wanted anyway and didn’t care what anyone thought.
I want to give her better memories, but I don’t want to overstep.
Silva thinks a large part of why Lexi was on suppressants was because they were held captive while being taught to be an Alpha’s perfect sex slave. She never wanted to put herself in a position for an Alpha to take advantage.
Even though that's true, there’s so much more to it.
I’d never say a word, it’s not my place. I’d never break that trust I have with Lexi. It's why I told her no. I’d rather cause her a bit of physical pain that will go away in a few days than emotional and mental trauma that could destroy her.
“What can I do to help? Do you want me to come get her? I can stay at her place to watch over her.”
“No,” I tell her. “She’s fine here with me. She’s in my nest. I have everything she needs. I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.”
“Okay, but if it becomes too much, call me. You got this, Emmett.”
“You sure about that?” I let out a panicked laugh. “I’ve never felt so young and stupid in my life than I do right now.”
“Age doesn't matter in this case, Emmett. You are a good man. If Lexi were to be with anyone, I’m glad it’s you. I don’t know what this will mean between the two of you after this is over, but you have my support for whatever you choose.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up and sit down in one of the deck chairs.
What should I do? What if she doesn’t have a lucid moment, and she stays in the heat haze?
It would kill me every time I’d have to deny her. I want nothing more than to make her feel good, to help her through this heat. To be her first.
Lexi is a virgin. Her past assaults don’t count. She’s thirty-one and has never been with someone in an intimate way. I want to be that safe place for her, to take care of her, and give her nothing but the best memories of her first time. But not unless she has a clear mind and can give me consent.
With my head in my hands, I sit on the deck, trying to decide what to do.
It’s at least an hour before I hear her soft voice, snapping me out of my inner turmoil.
“Emmett?”
My head snaps up, looking at her over my shoulder with devastated eyes. “Lexi. Hey.” I go to stand, but she shakes her head, coming outside to join me.
She looks tired, her blonde hair a rumpled mess, dressed in only my shirt and a pair of panties.
My mouth goes dry. She’s so incredibly sexy. I know it’s not the time to think of her this way, but it’s hard not to.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her lower lip wobbling as she sits on my lap, wrapping her arms around me.
“What do you have to be sorry for?” I instinctively gather her in my arms, needing to make sure she feels safe.
