“Pregnant?” he whispers like a wounded puppy.
“No.” I shake my head. “No, I’m not pregnant."
“Are you sure?” she asks, looking at my chart.
“I’m on heat suppressants. So no.” My cheeks are burning now.
“You can still get pregnant while on suppressants. It’s just a lot harder.”
“I’m not pregnant,” I say louder. “That would require having sex and seeing how I’ve never had sex before, it’s impossible.”
What happened to me after I presented doesn’t count. That monster doesn’t get to take away my first.
Emmett just blinks at me. “Oh,” he whispers.
“Yeah, oh. So it’s not that,” I grumble, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
“We can run a few tests, but I think we both know that if we rule out pregnancy, what it really is.” She gives me a sympathetic look.
“You do?” Emmett asks. “What is it then?”
The doctor looks between me and Emmett then back to me. “Do you want him here for this conversation?”
I want to say no. Because then I can continue to put on this mask of bravery and ignore it, but I can’t bring myself to let him go.
Shaking my head, I take Emmett’s hand in mine and try not to cry.
“He can stay,” I whisper.
She nods. “I think it’s time you went off your heat suppressants.”
And there it is. The answer I was dreading.
“Yeah.” I nod. “I think so too.”
“If you continue to take them, I fear your symptoms will only worsen. Suppressants can have long-term effects on the body. They’re not meant to be a permanent fix.”
“I know.” I dig my nails into my palm to keep myself from shaking.
“Everything will be okay.” She tries to give me a reassuring smile. “Anything you need, we’ll be able to help with.”
“Okay.” I nod, a numbness starting to settle over me.
The doctor draws blood and checks my vitals before sending me on my way.
Emmett doesn’t say anything as he takes my hand in his and guides me out of the room.
I’m trying to hold it together as tears blur my vision, but I’m shaking and choking on a sob by the time we reach the door.
I feel Emmett’s eyes on me, and I nearly break. Then he’s gathering me in his arms and taking me to his truck.
As I try to hold myself together, I bury my face into his neck, my grip on him probably uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
When he opens the passenger door, he doesn’t put me down but climbs in with me in his arms and closes the door.
He wraps his arms around me, cradling the back of my head, and murmurs. “It’s okay to break, Lexi. It’s just you and me. You’re safe.”
A sob rips through me, and I cling to him with every fiber of my being as I fall apart, all my fears coming to the surface.
