When I stand up and take in the sight of her, I feel something shift in my chest. It’s not just from great sex, but for the simple fact it’s her. She’s felt different all along, and tonight just proves it. I don’t feel the urge to run away, to offer a quick thanks for the good time. Instead, I want to crawl into bed beside her and hold her close. I want to talk and get to know her even better, learning about her past and her dreams for the future.
I want more than just this one night, and I hope she feels the same.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, needing to get rid of the condom.
Quickly slipping into the hallway, I step inside the bathroom and close the door. I look at the reflection in the mirror, surprised by what I see. Not a man with a wounded soul and a jaded past, but one who’s smiling and anxious for more. Sure, more sex, but also more Lizzie.
I make quick work at tossing the condom in the trash and cleaning up. I crack a smile at the floral décor, the stark opposite of the ugly vanity, tile, and floor in the small space. She may not be able to change the appearance of this room quite yet, but she’s doing her best to make it homey and inviting.
Grabbing a second washcloth, I wet it with warm water and exit the room. Returning to where I left Lizzie, I find her in bed, beneath the soft green and ivory bedding. “I brought you this,” I state as I approach, holding out the cloth.
She reaches for it, but I keep it just out of grasp. Instead, I pull back the bedding and set out to help her clean up. The only light in the room filters through the window and the hallway, but even then, I can still see the remnants of her arousal. I hate toclean it off, but I don’t want her to be uncomfortable when she tries to sleep.
As I finish wiping her off, she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down to cover her. I go willingly, careful not to squish her as I cover her body with my own. I toss the cloth onto the floor and let my fingers glide into her hair. Our kiss is gentle, tender even, yet still causes life to stir inside me once more.
I roll to the side, pulling her with me. She tosses her right leg over mine and cuddles into my side. Her fingers dance against my chest as she brushes her lips across my stubbly jaw. Finally, I reach down and pull the bedding up to cover us. “Is this all right?” I ask.
“Of course,” she replies, relaxing into my embrace as she rests her head on my shoulder and glides her fingertips along my neck. “You’re kinda bossy,” she murmurs, a hint of humor in her voice.
“Is it too much?” I’m not domineering, but I do like to be in control, if that makes sense. I’ve always liked to take charge, but don’t have to have it to get off.
“No,” she replies immediately. “I liked it.”
All I feel is the touch of her skin against mine. It’s relaxing, comfortable. “Good,” I whisper, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “The truth is, I like to take control in the bedroom, but don’t let that scare you. In reality, you’re the one in control. I would never do anything you didn’t want me to.”
“So, I’m the boss downstairs, but you’re the boss up here?” she asks, smiling coyly at me and making me grin in return.
“I like the sound of that,” I state, feeling my body truly relax with her snuggled against me.
“Me too,” she agrees through a yawn.
After a beat, I ask, “Is this okay?”
As if completely understanding what I mean, she says, “Yes. I like you here.”
Here in her bed, in her arms, in her life. I hope she means all of it.
“I do too,” I murmur softly.
“Good night,” she whispers, those two words already heavy with sleep.
“Night, sweet Lizzie.”
I know the moment she falls asleep in my arms. Her breathing evens out and her body grows limp. And as tired as I feel, sleep doesn’t find me right away. I just lie here and enjoy being with her. I notice every twitch of her body, every soft murmur as she sleeps.
I think about what this means.
We agreed we’d take it slow and just see where it goes, but after only one night with her, I’m ready to jump into the dark abyss of the unknown with both feet.
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that, honestly. I’ve been pretty closed off for the last eight years, thanks to the betrayal of the woman I loved. I’ve dated over the years, but looking back, I know I kept them at arm’s length. Lizzie’s the first one I’vewantedto draw in, to let her get closer than anyone before her.
She holds all the cards and has the ability to destroy me if I’m not careful.
But I can’t get over the feeling of her right now, in my arms. It’s not just havingsomeonethere.
It’s her.
And as much as that scares me, I refuse to hide from it. I make a living out of running into the flames when everyone else is running out. So, like we said, we’ll take this day by day and see where it goes. It doesn’t mean I’m falling for her or ready to jump into marriage, but it does mean I’m keeping my eyes open and staying out of my head. It’s pretty simple, really. A simple request to just stay present.
