He looks at me with his mouth in a hard line. “How awkward you are with intimacy.”
My mouth drops open. “What? Me?” I am not awkward with intimacy; I am awkward with him. There is no manual on how to fake date someone to trick the guy that you really like into liking you.
“Yeah, you. You practically spaz any time I try to touch you in public.”
I turn toward him, ready to argue. “Because we aren’t really together. I don’t want to be touched by you.” I’ve said this before, but each time I say it, it feels less and less true.
“Well, that is less likely to happen if he thinks we’re not together. Do you not notice how he looks at you when I’m near you? I think his head would explode if he actually saw us kiss.”
“So what, what do you want from me? We’re already telling everyone we’re sleeping together. Should I cling on to you at all times too?”
“Is that what we’re telling people? Because that’s not what Annica and Danielle have been saying. You’ve been absent this entire month and Annica is blabbing on about our sex life that isn’t really happening, questioning if we’re even really together and accusingme of cheating on you. Though I will say that gets Wes pretty riled up, jumping down my throat about what he’d do to me if I hurt you. Then I have Dani offering me advice on how to be romantic. Honestly, it’s been torture.”
He’s right, and now I feel flustered and overheated. “I just, I—”
“It’s fine,” he says, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back. “Just loosen up a little on the trip and try not to run away when I touch you.”
I can feel my cheeks turning red. He’s talking to me like I’m a prude, which I am most certainly not, but I’m also not the kind of person that can fake affection that isn’t there.
“Then let’s practice.” I can feel my heartbeat in my ears at what I just suggested, and I half hope he shuts down the idea. But only half.
He only raises a brow. “What?”
“Yeah, let’s practice. Maybe I’ll feel more comfortable, and it’ll look more natural, if we just... tried it out first.”
“What exactly would you like to try?” The corner of his mouth turns up.
I take a breath and scoot in closer to him. “Well, I can move in closer, like this.” I scooch down and lean a little toward him so that my arm is now against his. “And you can put one arm around me like this.” I take his arm and put it around my shoulder before snuggling up to him and leaning my head on his shoulder. I’m sure it looks just as strange as it feels. He only lets out a long sigh. When we’re this close I notice he smells like cinnamon and pine. It reminds me of Christmas.
“Is this helping you?” he asks after a moment.
“I mean, it might if you weren’t so stiff.” I squirm around under his arm, trying to get comfortable.
“I don’t know what you want from me right now. This isn’t what I thought you had in mind.”
I sit up again with a sigh, scooting over so we are no longer touching. “What did you think I meant?”
He smirks. “Come back over here.” I do what he says, moving in toward him. “Closer, Sawyer,” he says quietly.
I’m nestled into him again, as his hand lifts my chin, sweetly this time, not in the rough way he grabbed me on Halloween. My breath catches in my throat when I realize what it is he wants to try. I try to calm myself down because it’s just a kiss, Sloane, it’s just a kiss. And it’s a practice one at that. This is like eighth grade with Bobby Mathews behind the bleachers all over again, and somehow I’m just as nervous. I look up at him from under my lashes before he tilts my face toward his and gives me that usual snarky grin. He leans in slow, and my lips part ever so slightly and my eyes flutter closed. Then Asher Collins McCavern’s lips are on mine.
And I was right, they are soft.
He tastes like scotch and spearmint gum as he deepens the kiss, and his hand moves back to my hair, where it settles, tangled in the long strands. But it doesn’t last long, and he ends it by pulling away from me. And that was all I needed to confirm what I already thought. I’m in trouble.
“Not bad,” he says, as our faces are still so close. “Anything else you want to try?” He smiles with those white teeth and I feel dizzy.
“I— No, that was good, fine actually, it was fine.” I start to edge to the side of his bed. “I think we’re all set for the trip, then.”
“And here you go running away again,” he says, leaning back against his headboard.
“I’m not running away.” Though I certainly am, because if I stay I think we might end up practicing a lot more than a kiss. “I have stuff to do tonight.”
“On Thanksgiving?”
“Yes, actually, I have... Black Friday shopping to do. For skiing stuff. Outfits for skiing and whatever else you need for... that.”
“Okay.” He smirks. “Just make sure they’re tight. And get a bathing suit for the hot tub. A slutty one.”
