“I think this is the first time we’ve actually been alone,” I venture.
He turns his head my way, eyes flashing. “Well, we were alone on the beach the other morning.”
“Yeah,” I say, cheeks warming. “Not so much the other night on the pull-out couch, though.”
He smiles wryly and shakes his head. “Jesus. Fucking embarrassing. I thought we got away with it, too.”
I grin back. “Guess not.”
And for a moment neither of us says anything.
“It was hot, though,” I try. “Quiet, needy…furtive…”
He makes a low sound in his throat and his eyes slip half shut. When he opens them again he holds my gaze for a moment before speaking.
“You’re dangerous,” he says quietly.
I huff a laugh. “I’m not trying to be.”
“Can’t help it, I guess.”
A pulse of lightning spills across the cab again, and for a second he looks unreal, sculpted in silver light, all planes and shadow. My pulse is everywhere—my throat, my wrists, the space behind my knees.
Impulsively, I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over the console. His hand comes up, brushes a strand of hair from my cheek.
“Max,” he says quietly. “You’re gonna wreck me.”
My lips find his before he can say another word. Slow at first, then he pulls me closer, one hand sliding up my back, and itdeepens. I tuck my feet under my hips and lift myself up onto my knees to get closer, and he reaches for my waist and pulls me over the console onto his lap.
I sink against him, tasting him, and suck in a breath when I feel the hard bulge in his pants brush my inner thigh. His mouth moves over my jaw, hands circling my waist. I tilt my head to the ceiling as he kisses down my neck. Blindly, I reach for the button of his pants—khakis that Damian picked up at Walmart. The soft fabric leaves little to the imagination.
I have the zipper halfway down when he sucks in a breath and then exhales, hands gripping my shoulders and holding me still.
“Fuck,” he hisses. It’s not the kind of sound that leads anywhere good.
“What?” I ask.
He leans his head against the headrest, looking stricken. “I can’t.”
I blink and pull back. “What? Why? We’re alone.”
He shakes his head, pressing his lips together. “I…I just can’t. Not right now, Max.”
“Is this because ofWyatt?”I snap, sharper than I mean to.
He takes a deep breath. Sighs. “Yes, partially. It’s just not knowing where we stand right now and, listen…” He leans forward, eyes catching mine. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to move too fast when maybe we should have moved slower after everything you’ve been through. I just think we need to take a step back, okay?”
“No, Ryder.” The words are hot and stupid and panicked. “Please.”
A flicker of regret crosses his face. “I’m sorry.” He sighs again, and then reaches up and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “You mean everything to me, Max.”
“You too,” I plead, nearly whimpering. “Ryder, I need you.”
The smile is apologetic, but final. I take a deep breath, drop my head and avert my eyes, and sidle back over the console to my side of the seat.
Outside, the rain has slowed. It hits the windshield in heavy drops, but the road ahead is visible again.
“Good timing, I guess,” says Ryder, a touch of sadness in his voice, and reaches for the ignition.
