“And your love is stronger than any other emotion, even anger,” she says, a little faster. The soul will arrive at the dais in a matter of moments. She is an older woman with light and thinning, shoulder-length hair. She appears dazed and unsure of where she is. I know that Persephone will be kind to her. “Is that still true?”
“Of course it is, my queen.”
Persephone leans over and kisses my cheek. A quiet gasp whispers through the crowd and is quickly stifled. “The Underworld is healing. You are healing, too. All is as it should be.”
I place my other hand over hers and look into her eyes. I do not have time to say all I wish to say and explain the anger and fear twisting inside me, held at bay by her hands on mine. I do not have time to tell her what it means that her touch is comforting in this way, and how I cannot be expected to live without it again. I do not have time to tell her that I know, I know, that the realms must be in balance or they must be destroyed.
“All will be balanced in time,” I say instead.
Persephone nods, a private smile curving her lips. She squeezes my hand between both of hers.
Then, without letting go of my hand, as if it is natural to hold her king’s hand while she pronounces judgment upon a soul, Persephone faces the woman who has arrived at the dais.
The guard announces the reason for the soul’s unrest. The brutal manner in which it was ended brings tears to many. The fact that she ended it herself but was not in her right mind, too concerned with her children having enough food to eat and not wanting to eat herself. She sacrificed her soul, although the penalty for suicide is well known. She could not easily be placed, as she thought if she only ate a morsel, she could be with her family, and no one would perish. This is the consequence of Demeter's pain and withering of the crops. Mothers died to save their children. But for how long?
“Do not be worried,” my queen says, her voice soft, as comforting and welcoming as a thick blanket after coming in from the cold. “You are meant to be here. You have found your way, and now there is only a short journey ahead of you.”
“And…then what will I do?” the woman asks, staring up at Persephone with wide, agonized eyes.
“Rest,” Persephone says, smiling. The warmth in her voice is not a performance. It’s as real as the warmth in her hands. “You are able to rest now and with that rest, you will have abundance.” She turns her attention to the guards. “She is noble, although she misjudged her actions. Please take her to the Elysium.” Her verdict brings a murmur over the crowds. “Do you agree my king,” she asks me and I do. With a nod, the woman is taken away and the courts continue.
Persephone
Hades remains silent for several judgments. He doesn’t pull his hand away from mine or give any sign that he wants me to let go, so I do not. The nervousness that runs through me feels misplaced. This is where I belong. I’m meant to be by his side. I pause for him to take the floor each time, but he simply nods to me.
I keep thinking he will signal to me that he wants to take over in passing the judgments, but he does not. Four of them go by. Five. Ten. My heart beats faster for a while, but I keep my hands around his and steady myself with his presence next to me.
The questions still come to my mind: am I ready for this? Am I prepared to judge souls after my absence? How will I know what to say, and where to send them?
But as every new soul answers, I find that I do know. It’s achingly obvious to me. I find that I only need to observe them, and then look inside myself for the answer.
And it is there, just as my powers are in the Underworld, and just as they are on Olympus.
Hecate’s announcement was not a surprise. The new moon does not last long, and she follows its path in the sky to come and go from Olympus or wherever else she may venture to the Underworld. I knew she would come to me when it was time to go back. The crossroads are her home. And those who are lost find her there.
I didn’t expect that she would come to court, and I don’t know why she made her announcement publicly.
I’ll have to ask Hades about the exchange but not until we are back in his rooms. His rage was palpable, although I’ve no idea why. Is there not peace between them?
Hades does not let it show on his face, although it is very clear to me. It radiates off him, and I do not know how to ease that feeling except through my touch.
Finally, Hades takes an audible breath and straightens. For hours, he sat tall and proud before me, so I did not think he could be taller or more commanding, but somehow he is. Relaxing my posture, I pause once the guard states the reason for judgment needed and I remain quiet.
Hades turns his hand in mine so his palm is up and I can lace our fingers together. Then, as he passes judgment on the next new soul, he squeezes my hand as if to say you did well.
I glow with that feeling through the rest of the session at court. I spend most of it watching the gathered souls. They spend their time watching me or watching Hades. This is yet another sign of how difficult things were when I was gone. Every soul who meets my eyes seems to crave reassurance that the worst is over. Fear lingers still.
I hope the worst has passed. And yet, I know not what has occurred in Olympus. I also do not know what Hecate will reveal to them. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to Beatrice. But surely they know I lawfully took my leave after my displeasure with my father. Now that leaves me only with acquiring Hades’s blessing to leave with Hecate as I need to so I may continue my work on Olympus as well.
Court goes by quickly and slowly at the same time. I’m torn. The pieces of me that have missed my place here wish to return to Hades’s rooms, or even out into the gardens, where we can wrap ourselves in each other and let the hours go by in pleasure.
I also wish to show the realms that their queen has not abandoned them, even if I must take my leave from the Underworld at times.
I must, I realize. I must be gone from time to time. I cannot abandon the mortals, either. I cannot abandon my mother. At the thought of her, my gaze drops and my heart pains. My mother’s grief spreads and causes too much pain to others as well. That is the nature of grief, isn’t it?
There must be a way to make sure everyone has what they need. There must be a way to bring lasting balance to the realms. I will find it.
Relief leaves with a heavy breath of mine when Hades dismisses the court and the doors at last close. There are no more souls to judge today. We have made it through the first session after the realm nearly collapsed.
