“The Crest is dead!” Reed screams, desperate to get through to Cill. He closes the space between them with heavy steps and the air suffocates me. “The club is down to ten people including the two of us. Six men I hardly know anymore, a traitor and an old man who’s waiting to die.” I reach out to steady Reed, slipping between the two of them as the tension rises. He’s losing it.
“Hey, hey, let’s just have a seat,” I offer, gentling my touch. I’ve only seen Reed like this once before. The day Cillian’s dad was found dead. My hands rest against his shoulders and Reed’s arm wraps around my waist, pulling me in as he buries his head in the crook of my neck.
I’m surprised but only because Cill’s behind us.
“I can’t do it,” Reed murmurs before coming to grips and slowly releasing me. He lifts his head, his eyes red and drops his trembling hand. “I can’t watch you kill yourself for a family that doesn’t exist anymore.”
Everything in me wants to hold on to him as he takes a step backward.
He stares at Cillian and I’m hesitant to look back and see his expression. I expect anger from Reed holding onto me like that. Maybe even toward myself for getting between them. I expect a lot of things, but when I turn around, Cill is right there, reaching around to pull Reed in. I’m caught there, between them both, as Cill pats Reed’s back with firm slaps.
“I’m right here, brother.”
“Don’t fucking go back, man. Don’t fucking leave us again.”
As I slip away from their embrace, the two men hug it out, neither willing to let go. “We have each other,” Reed says and emphasizes, “that’s enough.”
Cillian’s silent and I’m not certain he’s convinced.
“Can we just wait to do anything?” I offer again. “We have time, don’t we?”
The two men look over at me before they each take a step back, emotion riddled in their lost expressions. My two broken and lost men. “We have each other, that’s what matters,” I tell them.
Cillian looks between the two of us, swallowing thickly. “How exactly is that?” he questions and a chill sweeps down my back.
“What do you mean?” Reed questions in a single breath even though both of us know what he means. There’s love between us all, and I can’t deny that I feel more love for Reed than I should.
“I mean … the two of you … If I wasn’t here, you’d be with her, wouldn’t you?”
“No, the club isn’t safe–”
“If it was safe,” Cill says and inside I’m screaming for Reed to let it go. I love him, but he knows I’ll always be Cill’s. I can’t lose him as a friend, though. Neither can Cill. We need each other. It’s as simple as that.
Instead, he says the worst thing he could.
“Yeah.” He swallows, his hands slipping into his pockets, as if signaling he doesn’t want to fight, or maybe that he’s willing to take the punch without punching back. “If you weren’t here and it was safe, I’d be with her. Of course I would.”
Thump, my heart races and a heat engulfs me.
“And you would too,” Cill states softly, without judgment as he glances at me.
“But you are here,” I say and the words are pleading as they pour out. I can’t lose him. Please, no.
“I know I am, Hellcat. I’m not going anywhere,” he tells me as I rush into him, my hands fisting his tee. He chuckles. The bastard chuckles a genuine laugh as he looks down at me, smoothing over my hair before kissing my temple.
I’ve never felt such confusion.
“The thing is,” he whispers at my temple, his warm breath slipping down my shoulder, “Reed still wants to fuck you and you want him too.” He keeps me close to him and before I can object, Reed agrees.
As I turn to face him, breathless, Reed is standing closer than before, only inches behind me now. “I never stopped wanting you and I never will, Kat.”
Cill kisses the side of my neck, stealing my attention back. “What do you say, Hellcat? You want to be shared?”
Cillian
* * *
Kat keeps looking back at me like this can’t be real. Every time her wide hazel eyes search mine, I kiss her harder, wanting that look of uncertainty to vanish.
