“Good girl,” he says, complimenting me again in that deep, soothing tone of his.
I love it. I love this.
Cill eases my feet apart with one of his and strokes between my legs. Ruthlessly and demanding my desire. As I moan, his left hand grips the globe of my ass, bringing a heated sensation of pain that heightens the pleasure.
With my teeth sinking into my bottom lip, I give in to the need to mewl as the waves threaten to crash around me, drowning me in the sinful need.
The sensation pulls tight in the pit of my stomach and then rages outward, paralyzing me and all the while, Cill plays with my body, kissing along my exposed neck and plucking my nipples at a whim.
Once my orgasm has peaked, he pulls my hips toward him so that he can angle himself to my opening and push inside. I let out another soft moan, reaching for something to grip as he fucks me deeply and without mercy.
“Damn, you feel like fucking heaven,” he says low into my ear. “You feel just like I remember. My first and only.”
His words force me to tense. I’m not how I always was. And he’s no longer my only. Cill’s not the only one I’ve been with. I wish we’d had the kind of life where we could have stayed together. I wish I wasn’t carrying around this guilt. He fucks me with even strokes while that horrible guilt fills up my lungs.
“It’s all right, Hellcat,” he says like he already knows.
My voice is thick with unspoken secrets. “I don’t know if it is, Cill.” Does he know? Please, let him know. Let him know and still love me regardless. Please still love me.
He doesn’t stop. Instead he reaches around in front of me and circles my clit with a fingertip.
“You can tell me whatever you want,” he says gruffly.
Pleasure builds between my legs. My head thrashes with the undeniable heat.
“How am I supposed to tell you things if—if they’ll ruin this moment?”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out, pulling nearly all the way out and then slamming back into me, my hips butting against the edge of the counter, nearly bruising.
“I’m inside you,” he says finally. “It’s where I wanted to be every goddamn day for the last four years. You can tell me whatever the fuck you want, and it won’t ruin a damn thing.” He doesn’t stop and the pleasure doesn’t let up. Neither does the burning secret begging to spill from me.
He thrusts into me slowly as he tells me, “I want you and I’ll never stop wanting you.”
Kisses greet my side, his hands roaming along my sensitized skin. It’s all too much. His touch is gentle and it strips down the boundaries I’ve been holding around myself. I can’t tell him the whole story. I’m not ready, and neither is he.
“I’ll ask you questions,” he says, stroking in and out of me steadily. “How about that?”
I’m barely able to utter a word, but I agree, nodding my head as the pleasure rises. He grips my ass as he thrusts in deeper and harder.
“How many men were you with while I was away?” he questions and my eyes open wide, my heart thumping in fear of being torn to shreds. “Don’t lie to me, Hellcat.”
Only a moment passes. All the while, he keeps up his pace. With my breath unsteady I answer him. “One,” I say.
He swallows hard, so hard I can hear it, and I think he might drop it until he asks, “Did he treat you right?”
Every thrust forces my hips to hit the counter and heat engulfs me as I nod.
“I’m sorry,” I say, the tears falling, the pleasure and the pain intertwined. “I’m sorry, Cill.”
He pulls out of me and I almost crumple across the countertop. No. No, please. Don’t leave me. The words are trapped at the back of my throat, and they’re kept there by Cill’s bruising kiss. He turns me to face him and lifts me up to perch on the edge of the counter. Then he thrusts himself inside of me and braces my back with his forearms as he fucks me like he always has. Possessively and with a passion that’s undeniable.
I bury my head in the crook of his neck, my warm breath suffocating me as I realize what I’ve just told him.
“Look at me, Hellcat.”
Sharp blue eyes pierce through me and hold me in place as he takes from me. It’s a punishing fuck, hard and deep.
All the while, I struggle between the push and pull of pleasure and pain, praying he doesn’t ask me who.
