She flinched. “How did you—”
“What else have they done to you, Nila? Your hair, your skin.” I rubbed my face, unable to shed the self-loathing for leaving her in the hands of my father and brother. “You should’ve texted me, told me what they were doing.”
She sat up. “How did you guess about the Heretic’s Fork?”
I scowled. “At least one person tells me the truth rather than trying to hide it to make me feel better.”
She looked away, anger lighting her eyes. “Jasmine.”
“Yes, Jasmine.” Grabbing her wrist, I forced her to look at me. “The sister who I tasked to keep you safe. The woman you were supposed to trust and tell if you needed help or protection.” I wanted to shake her. “Yet you didn’t. You endured and lied to me that everything was fine—”
She snatched her hand out of my grip. “What was I supposed to do, Kite? I thought you were dead. I became someone I didn’t recognise. And then I heard you were alive and I made a promise to stay that way so we could end this together.”
Her eyes lowered, cutting me off. “Besides, I’ve lived through worse. I just had a weak moment before coming here tonight, that’s all.”
“That isn’t all and you know it.” I swallowed hard as her emotions shouted the obvious while her mouth refused to speak. “You’re on the edge, Nila. I sense it.” Grabbing her shoulders, I shook her. “Goddammit, you’re stronger than they are. Don’t let them win.Promiseme.”
She’d lived through worse at my hands.
The ducking stool. The whipping.
But I’d hurt her the most by not being there for her.
“God, Nila.” I brought my knees up, caging myself in. This position had been preferred when I was a kid. Knees up, arms braced, head down—a little fortress from the overwhelming intensity I couldn’t switch off. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done.”
My eyes pricked with fury at who I’d let myself become. For being sofuckingweak.
Nila darted to her knees, snuggling against me. “Stop. You don’t need forgiveness. We’ve moved past that.”
“I’ll never move past that. Not as long as I live.” Looking into her black gaze, I vowed, “I’ll never stop making it up to you.”
She smiled sadly. “There’s nothing to make up.” Cupping my cheek, she ran her thumb over my bottom lip. “After what you just did for me—cutting my hair, giving me back what I’d lost—we’re even. You came back from the dead for me, Kite. You’ve proven yourself far more than words ever could.”
Lashing out, I wrapped an arm around her, hugging her fierce. “I can never again feel your pain. It fucking crippled me before, but it would murder me now.”
She shook her head. “The only pain I’ll ever feel from you, Jethro, is if you die again.” She snorted quietly, doing her best to lighten the mood. “So, promise you won’t do that and the rest will be fine.”
“The only pain I ever want to endure is pain endured protecting and deserving you.”
She stiffened. “What does that mean?”
It means I have a plan to end this but war has casualties on both sides.
“Nothing.” Brushing away her short hair, I nuzzled into her neck. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Silence fell between us. She wanted to ask more questions, the barbs of curiosity stuck into my skin like thorns, but she swallowed them back.
“You haven’t asked me how I escaped to come see you.” Wriggling out of my embrace, she lay on her back, patting the blanket beside her. “They keep my door locked now, so I couldn’t run through the Hall.”
Reclining again, I inconspicuously held my healing side, granting some pressure from the building discomfort. “How did you get out then?”
Her teeth flashed in the darkness. “I scaled the downpipe outside my bathroom and used the grass lattice on the turret to shimmy to the ground.”
I groaned. “Shit, Nila.” Hawksridge had evolved over the centuries—indoor plumbing being a new addition with unsightly pipes ruining the prettiness of the façade. My ancestors had done their best to hide them with lattice grass, growing the patchwork up the building. It would’ve been an easy climb, but not for someone with the inconvenience of vertigo. “That was stupid.”
If I had known she’d had to sneak and risk breaking her neck, I wouldn’t have summoned her.
Who are you kidding?
