I shrugged. Once upon a time, I might’ve panicked and done everything to deny such a revelation. Now, it didn’t matter. I was above all that.
“All in the past, as you well know.”
Cut nodded. “I know. That’s why I’m bringing this up now. You’ve seen the light, and I think it’s time you know a bit more of the legacy you’re upholding.”
I crossed my legs, nursing my goblet. “Go on.”
“Did you ever stop to think about other Hawks and Weavers who had to pay the debts?”
My forehead furrowed. “No.”
“You never thought others might’ve had the same issues you did?” Nostalgia shaded his face. “I won’t deny I had a soft spot for Emma toward the end. She was nothing like her daughter—not insubordinate or stubborn, but she enticed me all the same.”
My heartbeat kicked just the tiniest bit.
Without disrupting the conversation, I pulled the small bottle free and tipped a tablet into my palm. “I had no idea.” Chasing the pill with a healthy dose of cognac, I added, “I suppose it’s logical for any man and woman to have feelings if they’re forced together long enough.”
Cut stared into his drink. “I suppose.”
He always did this. Always hinted at a topic in a roundabout way, waiting to see if I would trip up and reveal things. It might’ve worked in the past when I had things to hide and nervousness to feel, but now I had nothing.
Blank. Blank. Blank.
My voice was soft. “You did what you were tasked with. Just like I hurt Nila, you hurt Emma.”
His eyes connected with mine. “Exactly. You made her bleed in the First Debt. And I have no doubt you’re capable of carrying this inheritance to its conclusion.”
A few weeks ago, there was no chance in hell I would’ve been able to complete the Final Debt. But things were different now.
My loyalties were to the Hawks. I would do my duty. I would inherit what was mine.
“Of course.”
I would commit murder.
It was what I was born for.
Cut shook his head, almost in awe. “I wish that drug had been around years ago. I’m so happy to have you on my side after all this time. Not to mention, Bonnie is delighted that you no longer harass Jasmine from her studies.”
I smiled, taking another drink. “Yes, we both know it was time for me to grow up.”
Finch suddenly flew overhead; his russet feathers a rainbow of orange, brown, and taupe.
Cut sighed, running a hand through his white hair. “There is one thing I need to bring up, before we can put the past behind us.” His body tightened. “You can probably guess what I’m about to say.”
Could I?
I wracked my brains.
What had he hated about me the most? My inability to obey? My endless problems? Or was it the fact I’d slept with Nila with nothing barred and somehow lost a piece of myself that I would never get back—no matter how numb I was?
“You’ll have to enlighten me. I have no idea what you mean.”
“I must admit, you were beyond stupid. If those pills hadn’t worked, I would’ve put you down for that infraction alone.”
My eyebrow raised. “Oh? This will be interesting. Don’t torture me with suspense—what did I do?”
He grinned. “I’d hoped you would be able to tell me why. Explain in your words what the fuck was going on in your screwed-up mind. But I guess that won’t happen now that your insanity is cured.”
