I craved to be inside her, to hold her in silence and find the gift that she’d given me by falling in love. She’d used me to help her. She’d manipulated me ina way I couldn’t refuse, but in the end, we were both losers...or winners—depending on my frame of mind. Her heart belonged to me. And my heart belonged to her.
I’d fallen for her.
I’d tried to become a better person for her.
But the drugs were so much more powerful than me.
I wanted to rejoice at finally finding something that worked. I should bow to the doctors for creating this miraculous cure. I needed everyone to know how incredible it felt to be cocooned by the gentle fog of intoxication.
Nila had obeyed me when she left—taking my heart and sanity with her. But now, I had a rare opportunity to fortify myself. I would become the man she needed, so when the time came to claim her, we would both be ready.
* * * * *
One hundred and twenty hours.
Five days since Nila left.
My injuries were healing—my ribs remained strapped and sore, but my face didn’t look as swollen or grotesque.
Five days equated to thirty-seven tablets. I’d become attached to my rattling bottle, devouring the promised fog as if each drug was exclusive caviar.
Nothing affected me anymore. Not loud noises, overpowering scents. Not even raised tempers or malice. The fog was thicker...the insulation between them and me growing deeper by the day.
The tablets were working.
They were stealing, healing.
But they hadn’t solved me completely. I still ached as if my heart had been ripped out. Every night I throbbed to slide inside Nila and have her come apart in my arms. My tattooed fingertips mocked me—reminding me she’d branded me and I’d branded her but for now...we were apart, even if we belonged to each other.
But soon I can collect her.
Soon I could save Nila, Jasmine, Kestrel, and myself.
So many futures rested on me. I couldn’t let them down. So, I popped another tablet, I said goodbye to another ounce of feeling, and I prepared myself for the ultimate finale.
* * * * *
I should’ve seen it coming.
Why didn’t I see it coming?
I’d begun taking my new tablet friends to save me from myself, to save Nila from a worse fate designed by Daniel, and to guard the goodness Nila had conjured inside me.
That was my goal...but I’d underestimated Cut.
I didn’t pay close enough attention to my evolution as the drugs took me hostage.
It started slowly, methodically.
The man I knew slowly sank deeper and deeper inside, leaving a husk—a husk living with men like my father and brother—twisting the hologram of the man I once was.
It began like before: Cut put me back in charge of the mines and shipments. He returned my responsibilities and praised me for doing a good job. Security and finances filled my day, leading me further away from the soft tenderness Nila had nursed.
At night, I would be summoned to my father’s quarters to talk about what would happen now I was back in control. He made me drink from his convoluted perception and made me eat his disgusting morals.
Slowly but surely, I became angry. And that cultivated anger was given direction.
The Weaver twin.
