He shook his head. “Don’t be. I’ve had this curse all my life.” He gathered me close, nuzzling into me. “I’ve never let myself give in. But before, when I slid inside you, I stopped fighting. I did what Jasmine told me to do. I let myself drown in what you feel for me. And fuck, it was the best thing I’ve ever felt.”
My heart cast into a never-ceasing knot. “And Jasmine told you to do that?”
He dropped his gaze. “Jaz has been researching my condition ever since I was diagnosed. She read somewhere that Empaths who remain single and cloistered from society don’t have long life expectancies. Others slowly chip us away, until one day, it’s too much. I swore to her that I would never find love. That the agony I had from loving her as my sister was enough to swear me off ever marrying. But she showed me another article about Empaths whodofind their perfect others. They live longer than most because they no longer have to fight on their own.”
His hand never stopped stroking, his body tense but happy.
I asked, “What does that mean?”
His eyes became hazy, dreamy. “It means we rely on the person we love to love us so much in return that we can forever hide in their adoration and acceptance. Knowing there’s a well of immeasurable affection helps heal us if we encounter a mourning mother or psychotic serial killer. We can stay level—or at least better than we would if we’re alone.”
“So when Jasmine yelled at me for hurting you and cursed herself for destroying you—that’s what she meant?”
His forehead furrowed. “When did you see Jasmine?”
Whoops.
“Doesn’t matter. Is that what she meant?”
Jethro scowled but nodded. “Exactly. She pushed me into making you fall for me. In fact, just before the polo match, she told me to stop fighting and make you love me. To forget about the debts and inheritances and find something far more precious.”
I couldn’t speak.
“She told me to find my cure in you, Nila. She saw what I couldn’t. She hoped for something I never dared dream of. She taught me that love can be the cruellest force imaginable, but it also heals.”
He pressed a kiss reverently on my lips. “I’m done fighting. You’re mine and I'm yours, and now you know everything there is to know about me. Now you know I’m broken and can never be cured. Now you know why I am the way I am.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jethro
IT WAS DONE.
Out in the open.
My disease verbalized and acknowledged.
And she hadn’t run.
She hadn’t looked at me with pity or disgust. She’d accepted it and loved me even more.
Her emotions came in crashes, echoing in my soul. By being honest, I’d given her answers. And with answers came freedom to give in and trip from new love into forever love.
I wanted to crush her to me and never let go. I wanted to get on my fucking knees and thank her for the rest of my days for being brave enough to accept me.
Life together hadn’t been smooth. Our past was full of debts and degradation. Our future—if we even had a future—would be full of miscommunication and misunderstanding.
I’m not an easy person to love.
I knew that. Kestrel knew that. Jasmine knew that. There were times when I was too much. When their good intentions just weren’t enough and I’d have to leave to regroup on my own.
I could never hate them for that—for needing timeout from dealing with a fucked-up brother. But Nila...she would be drained of everything. I would take and take and take until that blistering, joyous love would turn to putrid ash.
Can I do that to her?
Could I suck her dry and hope to God she was strong enough to save us both?
Do I have any right to expect her to?
