With a solidified bond, we each took a keyboard and began.
Goddammit, I was a monster.
Covering my face, I folded over her bed.
I was so tired.
So fucking drained.
It’s all so fucking hard.
All I wanted was to give in. To tell her the truth and end the lies I’d always lived.
Pulling the tiny bottle from my pocket, I deliberated taking another. The drugs helped me stay sane—they were the only thing that had a power over me—but as much as I appreciated the silence, the numbness fromoverwhelming intensity, I hated the severance between Nila and me.
She deserved so much more than what I’d given her.
And now she would hate me for eternity.
Clutching the bottle, I cursed the swirling room.
Nila was safe and untouched.
She wouldremainsafe and untouched.
I was done being unhappy and selfish. My sacrifice would keep her safe.
I would trade a lifetime in a straitjacket to give her a long, happy existence.
Those were our futures. And her hating me would only make that separation easier on her.
Sighing, I slid back to the floor and curled up beside her bed.
I would guard her for the rest of my days.
It would be the one good thing I’d done before I died.
Falling to my side, the room spun quicker and quicker.
I closed my eyes and succumbed.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Nila
THE WORLD SOLIDIFIED.
I traded treacle-unconsciousness for cumbersome reality. One moment I was off in make-believe land with deformed unicorns and black rainbows, the next, I was awake.
Where am I?
Groggy, heartbroken, stupefied.
I clutched my head, warding off the gentle headache and fuzzy taste on my tongue. I smacked my lips, trying to get rid of the taste. The metallic residue was...familiar.
But where from?
It reminded me of the one and only operation I’d had when I was seventeen to remove my tonsils. I’d been sick for a year with tonsillitis until I’d begged to have them out.
