I’d left Nila at the cemetery—I’d had nochoice.
But when she didn’t return after dusk, I went back for her.
She’d sat beneath the crescent moon, arms wrapped tight around her ribcage as if to prevent whatever meagre body heat she had from escaping. Her white skin glowed in the darkness, etched in shadow, making her seem part wraith, part woman.
I’d waited in the blackness, obscured by trees. Waited for her to either fall asleep or fret herself into unconsciousness. I wanted to wrap her in warmth and take her back to her chambers where she could find some resemblance of living...with me.
I wanted to kiss her frigid lips and run my fingers down her icy arms. I wanted to bewarmfor her and forget all notions of being a glacier.
But powerful waves of hatred and disgust rolled from her delicate form, lapping through the trees and around my ankles. As much as I wanted to go to her, I couldn’t.
For the same reason I needed to see Jasmine so often.
For the same curse I’d lived with my whole life.
So, I’d waited.
I’d sacrificed myself by feeling her pain.
I’d shared the cold with her.
I’d hoped she sensed my presence and it offered a shred of comfort.
And when she’d finally retreated to the Hall, I’d followeddiscretely. Shadowing her every step, determined she wouldn’t see me.
It wasn’t until she’d stumbled from her bathroom in a cloud of steam and wearing a towel that I’d left the security hub and the constantly recording cameras and returned to my own quarters.
As I lay staring at my ceiling, thinking how disastrous my life had become ever since I texted her over two months ago, I felt another stirring inside my broken heart.
One that gave me a small blaze of hope that there might besomeway to salvage this nightmare.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to talk to someone. Fully confess. And not just to my sister.
I wanted to unload and spill everything to my sworn enemy. To the woman I wanted but could never have.
If I stepped off that ledge and took a leap of faith, I had no doubt I would end up dead when I fell. But I’d left it too long to fix myself and no longer had control over my impulses.
I’d regret it.
Shit, I already did.
But it couldn’t stop me.
With a rabbiting heart, I’d messaged her the first shred of truth.
I began the journey that would pulverize me.
* * * * *
Cut looked up from his newspaper, his eyes narrowing. “Where were you yesterday?”
Torturing Nila. Torturing myself.
“Nowhere. Not important.” I strode toward the dining table, glaring at Daniel. He was the only other man indulging in breakfast. Everyone else must’ve eaten and split.
Daniel smirked, smearing butter onto a fresh croissant. Keeping eye contact, he stuffed it into his mouth.
The idea of eating with my two least favourite people turned my hunger into repulsion. Grabbing the back of a chair, I made no move to pull it out. “Where’s Kes?”
