Bound.
Somehow, she’d crept inside my barricaded heart. She’d weakened me—but that weakness worked both ways.
Ifelther. I heard her fears, tasted her tears, and somehow knew how she would react.
I hadn’t permitted anyone to have that control over me since Jasmine. Even Kes and I didn’t share such a strong connection.
That strange bond had a name.
I called it my disease.
And it only got worse the more I was around Nila.
I craved her so intensely; I would break both of us before any more debts were paid.
I didn’t think she believed me when I said we were well and truly fucked. And not just because of my father and what he would do. But because of what Iwas.
Because of my...condition.
The moment I left her on the porch, I knew she’d go. The knowledge echoed in my bones, making it fact rather than speculation.
In the time it took to jog back to my room and trade my riding attire for all-black workout gear, she’d gone.
Balling my hands in the cool morning air, I smiled. A genuine smile. It’d been forever since I’d let myself relax enough to be genuine about any emotion.
Just like empathy and compassion were banned from my repertoire, so too, was feeling something so purely that it became a spark in my dead heart. I didn’t want to be genuine about anything because it could be used against me.
It was best to hate everything and everyone. To hide my true desires even from myself.
The anticipation of another hunt sent my blood flowing thick and hot.
Her tiny footprints led a trail, like enticing crumbs. The dew-damp grass flattened from her path.
I’m coming, Nila.
Just like before, I took off after my prey. But the difference between this chase and the previous one was Iknewshe wanted me to hunt her. I knew she wanted to be found. And I knew she fed off this cat and mouse idiocy as much as I did.
My legs spread into a large stride as I left the Hall behind.
I preferred to perch on the back of Wings when galloping fast and far. I wasn’t a jogger. It wasn’t quick enough for me. I missed the power of a large beast between my legs, responding to the commands to race and outrun everything that I was.
Every footfall caused me to wince from what I’d done to myself in my last ‘fixing’ session. The pain radiated up my legs. I supposed I should be grateful for the agony—it helped me in so many ways. And I needed all the help I could get with Nila wreaking havoc on my world.
You know it’s no longer working, so why still do it?
That was true.
Pain no longer held the comfort or fortress it used to. Jasmine was right. It was time to start looking at other methods, or, if I was brave enough, let everything that I’d been hiding emerge.
I snorted at the reaction that would get me. Not to mention the complications with my father.
No, I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Besides, I had more important things on my mind.
Such as hunting.
Leaping over the rock wall and tearing down the path, I put my head down and ran after my little Weaver.
* * * * *
