And I needed clarity after Kite’s message. Every time I thought about it, my heart squeezed in regret.
My jewelled flip-flops, cut-off shorts, and turquoise t-shirt were hardly suitable clothing, especially as small raindrops splashed from above, but I refused to go back inside.
“Nila!” Kes appeared from the side of the house, his boots crunching on the gravel as he jogged closer.
Shit.
As much as I wanted to confront him, I had no clue what to say. Breathing shallowly, I hoped the faint bruises Jethro had left on my upper arms didn’t show.
Kes came to a stop, his eyes drifting over me. “Where are you going?”
I frowned, drinking in his face, seeking the hurt that had been in his message. His gaze was blank, locked against any cypher or clues.
How is he hiding what happened between us?
Unable to understand, I shrugged. “Nowhere in particular. Just getting some air.”
“Mind if I join you?”
I shrugged again. It was best to clear the air sooner rather than later. “Sure.”
Kes fell in step beside me, his gaze rising to the black clouds on the horizon. His silence was heavy, judging.
“Where were you going?” I asked.Were you running after me?
His golden eyes landed on mine. My stomach twisted, thinking how fiery Jethro’s had been last night as he pushed himself inside me.
“I was just going to the stables. There’s a polo match next week—wanted to make sure my horse is shipshape.” Kicking a pebble, he added, “Bloody Jet always wins at polo. This time, I’m going to kick his arse.” His voice was sharp, completely unlike his usual ease.
I wanted to bring up the message but had no idea how.
Instead, I took a bite of my baguette. Once I swallowed, I mumbled, “I’ve never watched a polo game. Do you think I’ll be allowed to come?”
Please tell me I haven’t ruined our friendship. That you’ll let me hang out with you still.
If I didn’t have Kes’s company, I would go bonkers when Jethro disappeared.
God, I was selfish.
Selfish and greedy to try and keep both men, while using them for my gain.
Kes grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course. All the staff are given the afternoon off to come and watch.” He joked, “Even prisoners are allowed to go.”
Before Jethro had shown any signs of caring for me, that would’ve stabbed me in the heart and fortified my need to run.
Now...it only gave me courage to continue with my plan. And gave me strength to ignore the hurt I felt at pushing Kes away.
Yes, I enjoyed sleeping with Jethro. Yes, I could even admit to developing confusing emotions toward him. But my end game was the same.
I wanted him to fall in love with me.
Only then would he stand up to his family. Only then would he be so blindsided by affection, he wouldn’t see the knife when it went into his heart.
Gratefulness filled me. Kes had just reminded me of my goals. I had no time for bruised feelings or misunderstandings. I had to be as manipulative as they were and never waver.
You’re just as bad as them.
Good.
