Kite007:If I said I wanted one night of blatant honesty, no douche-baggery, no bullshit of any kind, what would you say?
Needle&Thread:I’d say you’d completely lost it and wonder if someone with a heart had stolen your phone.
Silence.
I’d been justified in not letting my guard down. After all, I’d tried many times to get him to be a little kinder, more human toward me, but he’d always shot me down. But as ten minutes turned into twenty and still no reply, I’d felt guilty for hurting someone who obviously needed to talk.
Why didn’t he talk to others who knew him? Find solace in friends who would understand? My earlier conviction of him being Kestrel had faded a little after the initial panic attack. Since his vicious remark, asking how I knew about his owning a motorcycle, we’d both skirted the issue as if we were both afraid to pick at that particular wound.
It was best to let it scab over and not spew forth poison that wouldn’t be able to heal.
This blindness—this naivety about our true agendas and names—was strangely hypnotic, and I didn’t want it to change. I didn’t want to let him go yet, and I would have to if I knew the truth.
Needle&Thread:Kite, I’m sorry. No bullshit. No games. One night only to be ourselves and let the stark, painful truth come out. I’m here to listen if you want. If you’ve had second thoughts that’s fine, too. Either way, I hope you have a great night.
It’d taken a while, but finally he’d texted back.
Kite007:Sometimes, it seems as if those who have nothing in life have everything, and those who have everything have nothing. Sometimes, I want to be the one who has nothing, so I can appreciate all the things I think I’d miss. But the scary thing is, I don’t think I’d miss a single fucking thing.
My heart fluttered. It was as if he’d pulled my fears straight from the darkness inside me.
Needle&Thread:I understand completely. I love my family. I love their faults as well as their perfections, but I can’t help being angry, too. By keeping me safe and sheltered, they made me become someone who was a lie. I now have the hardship of figuring out the truth.
Kite007:The truth of who you truly are?
Needle&Thread:Exactly.
Kite007:We’re all a product of obligation. A carbon copy of what is permitted in the world we’re born into. None of us are free—all raised with expectations to fulfil. And it fucking sucks when those expectations become a cage.
I couldn’t reply. Tears had spilled unbidden down my cheeks. I shook so much, I’d dropped the phone.
If KitewasKestrel. He was hiding just as much as me. A man camouflaging everything real in order to protect himself in a family of monsters.
Jethro snapped his fingers in front of my nose, breaking my daydream.
My heart galloped at the thought of never being able to text Kite again, especially now we’d broken some barrier and admitted we had more in common than seeking sexual gratification.
“You’re a thousand miles away. Pay attention.”
I blinked, forcing myself to lock onto Jethro’s golden gaze.
“I was giving you an idea of how today would go. You asked me to inform you, remember, back in the woods?”
Blinking again, I nodded. “Yes. Can you repeat?”
He chuckled coldly. “No, I will not repeat. I showed kindness in bracing you against today’s events, yet you couldn’t grant me the courtesy of listening. I refuse to reiterate myself.”
Rolling my shoulders back, I tried not to worry about what my future held and only on what was important. “Please, I need my phone back.”
Jethro shook his head. “No.”
My heart sprinted. “But you said I could use it.”
“I did.” His lips twitched. “I also said you had to ask permission inorder to do so. I want to check your history. Make sure you’re not disobeying the rules.”
Shit, why didn’t I delete my inbox?
“The rules?”
