A feather could have dropped, and everyone in the locker room would have heard it, including those who had gone to the showers as no water was running. The rest of his teammates instead stood at the entrance of the showers watching their conversation unfold. Coach Benson stared at Noah, shocked before his face flamed with anger, and the next thing Noah knew was that he was slammed against the locker.
“What did you say to me, boy? I want to hear that again.”
“You heard me,” Noah said, undeterred. Right now, he could give less of a fuck about Coach Benson’s rambling, and if Coach Benson didn’t get off of him right now, it didn’t matter how much Noah respected the man, he would be laid out on the ground cold.
“Noah!”
Noah continued to glare at Coach Benson, not even bothering to acknowledge his father’s voice, who had just stepped into the locker room.
“I’ll handle this,” his father told Coach Benson, who continued to glare at Noah another beat before he took a step back. Noah shrugged, annoyed as he picked up his towel that had fallen.
“You’re coming back home with me,” his father told him as Noah walked to the showers. It wasn't an offer he could deny, and right now, Noah was depleted of his energy. He didn't feel like arguing with his father, especially when a part of him didn't want to be on this campus.
As Noah turned the shower on, he heard his father apologize to Coach Benson for his behavior, and the rest of it became a buzz under the sound of the pressing water. Noah snorted. His father was doing what he usually did, fixing and controlling his career because clearly, he believed Noah couldn't do anything on his own. Noah closed his eyes, letting the hot water rain down on him.
He was tired and emotionally drained. Right now, he couldn’t think about the game. He couldn't think about his mistakes. Right now, all he could think about was the woman who left him in misery.
***
The ride back home was quiet. And though Noah hadn’t planned to go home this weekend and hadn’t been back home since Christmas, he didn’t mind going back now. Maybe he needed to be back in a familiar place so he could regain himself.
Noah pressed his forehead against the window as he looked out at nowhere in particular. The sound of country music buzzed from his father’s radio, but the music didn't meet Noah’s ears because his mind was somewhere else.
“What’s wrong?” his father asked, breaking the silence between them. Noah hoped his father wouldn’t ask him anything at all, but then again, Noah was surprised that they had made it this far into the drive without him questioning him. He knew his father was disappointed by how he played out there and had more than likely come to the locker room himself to rage on Noah until he saw what was happening. Noah could only imagine what would have happened if his father made it to him first. It definitely would have been ugly, and more than likely would have been the headline of every sports news entertainment.
“I lost something,” Noah said. He didn't even know why he was telling his father this, but for some reason, he wanted to speak about it. He didn't have anyone else to speak about it with. It's not like he could tell his friends about his relationship with Melanie, but then again, it wasn't like he could tell his father either.
“Maybe…what you've lost, you shouldn’t have had.”
“No,” Noah said, shaking his head. “I’m certain I was supposed to have it. I’m positive I was, but… but I just don’t know how I lost it. I don’t know…how to get it back again.”
He called Melanie countless times, had gone to her place, and dropped by her office to speak to her, but she had been dodging him. She wouldn’t answer his calls or reply to his texts. She would make herself scare on campus that he couldn’t find her, and whenever he knocked on her door, he would get no reply till the point he had to give up. She didn’t want to be with him anymore, and she had meant it. There was nothing between them now, and that hurt— not professor and student, not friends, not anything at all. That hurt more than anything.
His father didn't speak for the rest of the ride, and Noah was grateful for that. When they made it back home, Noah didn't say anything to anyone and immediately went to his room, letting his father make up excuses for his mood. Immediately, he stripped down to his boxers and dropped down into his bed, taking in the familiar scent, trying not to think about what Melanie's bed would feel like right now as he drifted off to sleep, hoping for a better tomorrow.
CHAPTER
47
NOAH
B
UT, OF COURSE, THERE WAS NO BETTER TOMORROW WHEN NOAH WOKE. He was still tired despite sleeping for eight hours, and worst of all, he was still angry. It hummed beneath his skin, unwilling to disappear even in the comfort of his home. And the ache in his heart appeared every time his mind strayed too far, and he thought of Melanie. He told himself not to, but it was hard. She was stuck in his heart, rooted so deep that he couldn't rip her out in the way she had done him.
He had seen many of his friends get their hearts broken before, but he himself had never experienced it until now. Now, Noah could understand what it felt like, what it felt like to be betrayed and left behind, and how it fucked with your mind. The way he played last night, Noah couldn’t play like again. He was lucky that he had great teammates to pick up his slack. But, for the next game, if he were that bad again, they wouldn’t be so lucky. They were in the Frozen Four now with the best of the best teams who obliterated all the other competition to make it to this point. He would have to play at his best if he wanted to win the championship. He needed to remember his goal and leave everything else behind him, including Melanie.
With that thought in mind, Noah got up from his bed and decided to spend his day in better spirits. He would have to deal with his emotions after the season was over. He cleaned up, got dressed, and headed to his younger brother's room to see what he was up to. And of course, his brother, Timothy, was too preoccupied with his PlayStation to even bother looking back at him.
“I heard you sucked last night,” Timothy greeted him. Noah leaned against the door frame of his brother's bedroom, watching as his brother mindlessly played one game after another. Noah couldn't help but wish his life was that simple again. Back when hockey was a hobby to him, and when he still thought of girls as the enemy because they sucked the fun out of everything. But soon, his brother would experience changes too.
“I didn’t suck,” Noah argued, though he knew that was a total lie. “I just wasn’t at my best.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Timothy said, dismissively. “Sounds like excuses to me.”
Noah rolled his eyes before looking around at what was near him. When he spotted a toy, Noah spiked it like volleyball directly at his brother's head.
“Ouch, you asshole. I lost the game because of you,” Timothy said as he finally turned to look back at him.
